


Eat the rich

by okwa



Series: Meanwhile.... [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, I don't know how to to tag, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Pining, Platonic Relationships, Shirabu Kenjirou is a Little Shit, Shiratorizawa, Yamagata likes causing chaos, they flirt like all homies do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 23,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26879023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okwa/pseuds/okwa
Summary: 3:47 amcarlwheezer: eat the richyamafatass: eat the richushijima: Taichi, Yamagata, aren't we the rich?A shiratorizawa chatfic because there needs to be more.This is done purely for fun.Also posted to wattpad
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Kawanishi Taichi, Oohira Reon/Yamagata Hayato, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Series: Meanwhile.... [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183922
Comments: 164
Kudos: 412





	1. skrt skrt beep beep

**2:39 am**

**we smash balls**

**yamafatass:** helpimhavingamnetalbreakdoenanfal;ihearisheyheyheyyuhbeepbeepheyheyiseethatimicy

 **geometry:** respect the song or leave

 **geometry:** we dont even share a dorm wtf

 **yamafatass:** how does tendou deal with you blasting icy at 2 am

 **charlidamelio:** Hey 😳♂ Hey 🏻😀 Hey yuh Hey 😳 Hey ❗❗ Hey Hey ☝ Hey 🏻 Hey I see 👄 that 🤓 I'm 👀👁 Icy Go 🚴 Rising Up ☝🙆 Up ❤ I see That 🏻 Im 🅱😂 icy

 **yamafatass:** NO

**yamafatass is offline**

**charlidamelio:** SEMIRDICIHEARHISFOOTSTEPSRUNDSDJZD

 **geometry:** OH FUCK

**yamafatass is online**

**yamafatass:** COME OUT THE CLOSET COWARDS

**yamafatass is offline**

**charlidamelio is offline**

**geometry is offline**

**yamafatass is online**

**yamafatass:** WHAT THE FUCK

**_yamafatass sent a video_ **

**[In the video semi could be heard yelling at Tendou to hurry his skinny ass up while seeming to be pushing him out the window. Semi is looking around cautiously until he sees Yamagata and scream. A scream belonging to Tendou follows as Semi curses out loud again, then the video cuts.]**

**carlwheezer is online**

**carlwheezer:** LMFAO WHOS SCREAMING IN THE 3RD YEAR DORM

 **carlwheezer:** HAHAHSEHDN I JUST BACKREAD

 **carlwheezer:** can't say it wasn't deserved 🙄💅🏻

 **cooluncle:** omfg if you guys are going to be screaming at 2 am at least turn down icy

 **cooluncle:** im really trying not to laugh and wake up ushijima but its so hard

 **cooluncle:** i just hear "uhh shout to my eomma" while tendou and semi are screaming

**geometry is online**

**geometry:** sorry reon

 **cooluncle:** nah its fine is tendou ok

 **geometry:** idk i should prob check on him instead of laughing

 **cooluncle:** wait what-

**geometry is offline**

**11:50 am**

**jill:** nice going dumbasses coach is pissed of now

 **yamafatass:** IM GOING TO CRY WE MADE IT ONTO THE VOLLEYBALL TEAM STRUGGLES TWT WHO SENT IT TO THEM

 **yamafatass:** TENDOU FALLING OUT THE WINDOW WENT VIRAL HAHA

 **charlidamelio:** 😿💔💔

 **Ushijima:** Satori, please refrain from attempting to/jumping out of windows. It is very dangerous for your health and could affect your volleyball career.

 **charlidamelio:** yes wakatoshi-kun~

 **geometry:** get a room 🤢🤢🤮🤮

 **charlidamelio:** shut up next time ill be the one pushing you out

 **geometry** : you wanna bet on that oli london kinnie?

 **charlidamelio:** pull up to the dorm right now

 **carlwheezer:** Woah! calm down jamal! Don't pull out the nine!

 _ **meanwhile on twitter...**_

**Volleyball team struggle tweets**  
**@volleyballteamstruggles**

_**This just in! Local punk volleyball boy shoves roommate out window while running from teammate!** _

**[ insert video] **

**11.4k retweets 6.8k quote retweets  12.8k likes **

**Tooru~ @oikawatooru**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**is that- IS THAT S**I AND T***OU FROM S**************

**FREEBRITNEY @semieita**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles and @oikawatooru **  
**@ me next time bitch**

**HARUHI BEST GIRL @TENDOUSATORI**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles and @oikawatooru **  
**@ me next time whore don't be shy uncensor the tweet** 😀

**Ushijima @ushijimawakatoshi**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**Delete this.**

**BEST ACE @bokutoshootingstar**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**WAIT @shiratorizawaofficial YOU GUYS HAVE DORMS!!!?!?!? @akaashikeiji LETS TRANSFER SO WE CAN SHARE A DORM**

**bokutos caretaker@akaashikeiji**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles and @bokutoshootingstar **  
**bokuto-san the dorms are separated by grade, im a 2nd year and youre a 3rd year**

**BEST ACE @bokutoshootingstar**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles and @akaashikeiji **  
**AGHKAASNDFIE** 😢😢😭😭

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if they're ooc
> 
> I can totally see Tendou as a person who uses emoji's ironically so expect a lot of 💔😰😃👍😱😢🤩😡😚😘😿🙄
> 
> Bokuto however uses emoji's unironically and that is a crime.
> 
> Tendou is named after charli d'amelio because he's tiktok king we needed but never got. 
> 
> Shirabu is named after Jill from dance moms because they have the same energy, ifykyk.
> 
> On another note I do a lot of projecting onto Tendou, Semi, and Tachi so sorry. 😿💔


	2. coulf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geometry: semi  
> jill: shirabu  
> charlidamelio: tendou  
> yamafatass: yamagata  
> Ushijima: ushijima  
> cooluncle: reon  
> carlwheezer: taichi  
> dorakinnie: goshiki

**7:24 pm**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** GRRR BARK BARK GRRR GRRR BARK BARK NCT 2020

 **geometry:** omfg

 **jill:** shut the fuck up im trying to study

 **carlwheezer:** can confirm square root headass is studying

 **jill:** choke

 **carlwheezer:** ew no ur not my type

 **jill:** Taichi I WILL murder you

 **carlwheezer:** boooo im so scared 😱😱😢😢😢 

**Ushijima is online**

**Ushijima:** Satori, please do not make animal noises in the groupchat.

 **Ushijima:** Shirabu, I'm asking that you do not kill Taichi for he is important to the team.

 **Ushijima:** That is all, I will now be going back to my daily routine.

**Ushijima is offline**

**charlidamelio:**...  
  
**jill:**.....  
  
**geometry:**.....  
  
**carlwheezer:**....  
  
**cooluncle:**....  
  
**yamafatass:**......  
  
**dorakinnie:**....  
  
**yamafatass:** so...  
  
**dorakinnie:** TENDOU SAN PLS TEACH ME A TIKTOK DANCE!!11!!!!  
  
**charlidamelio:** ofc tomu what dance do you want to learn  
  
**dorakinnie:** BOKUTO SAN SHOWED US THIS COOL DANCE HE LEARNED TO THE SONG WAP IN THE ACE GROUPCHAT  
  
**dorakinnie:** HE SAID IT HELPED HIM BECOME A BETTER ACE SO I WANT TO LEARN IT  
  
**yamafatass:** PFFFFT  
  
**cooluncle:** goshiki....  
  
**geometry:** GOSHIKI NO  
  
**carlwheezer:** YES LEARN IT GOSHIKI  
  
**jill:** ill give u 5 bucks if you learn it and dance it in front of coach  
  
**dorakinnie:** DEAL  
  
**charlidamelio:** i mean sure ill teach it to you tomu😳😳 

**9:** **36 pm**

**dorakinnie:** GUYS LOOK!!! 

  
_**dorakinnie sent a video** _  
  


**[It's just Goshiki dancing to wap with tendou looking proud of himself in the background]**  
  


**cooluncle:** goshiki...  
  
**cooluncle:** Did you send that to the ace groupchat?  
  
**dorakinnie:** OF COURSE!!  
  
**dorakinnie:** all the aces loved it 🥰🥰  
  
**jill:** I-  
  
**jill:** no words  
  
**jill:** none  
  
**geometry:** ur still typing tho  
  
**jill:** shut up marceline kinnie  
  
**geometry:** die  
  
**jill:** you first  
  
**yamafatass:** I SENSED S E X U A L TENSION AND CAME AS FAST AS I COULF  
  
**charlidamelio:** coulf  
  
**jill:** coulf  
  
**geometry:** coulf  
  
**carlwheezer:** coulf  
  
**yamafatass:** wtf guys ur so mean 😿😿💔💔  
  
**cooluncle:** coulf  
  
**yamafatass:** reon wtf how could you do this to me 💔 

**Ushijima is online**

**Ushijima:** coulf  
  


**Ushijima is offline**  
  


**yamafatass:** WTF USHIJIMA EVEN YOU  
  
**yamafatass:** left starving and to be fed to the wolves by my own family this is the deepest betrayal I've ever felt  
  
**carlwheezer:** omfg you don't have to be that dramatic  
  
**yamafatass:** no this the highest level of betrayal  
  


**yamafatass is offline**  
  


**geometry:** LMFAO CHECK YAMAGATAS STORY  
  
**charlidamelio:** "nobody hmu only the real ones know 💔💔🥀🥀"  
  
**carlwheezer:** "#brokenboy 💔💔"  
  
**jill:** Yamagata what the hell you sound like a 12 year old white girl lmfao  
  
**carlwheezer:** hey don't judge yamagata! troye just broke up with him before the school dance! 😡  
  
**charlidamelio:** omg not troye theyve been together for 3 days 😥😥  
  
**carlwheezer:** i know so sad 😥😥

 **yamafatass is online**  
  


**yamafatass:** I leave for 5 minutes and you guys start hardcore bullying me  
  
**charlidamelio:** deserved  
  
**carlwheezer:** deserved  
  
**jill:** deserved  
  
**geometry:** deserved  
  
**cooluncle:** deserved  
  
**yamafatass:** wtf reon why do you keep doing this to me 😿😿💔  
  
**jill:** boo go cry bitch  
  
**dorakinnie:** sorry yamagata senpai!!  
  
**yamafatass:** it's ok goshiki, you're the only one i trust  
  
**dorakinnie:** thank you yamagata senpai!  
  
**charlidamelio:** wtf yamagata you dont trust me?  
  
**charlidamelio:** even after all the glitter bombing aoba johsai?  
  
**charlidamelio:** tping oikawas car?  
  
**charlidamelio:** helping you shoplift that minecraft toy from the store because you were too broke to buy it?  
  
**charlidamelio:** after that one makeout session in 1st year?  
  
**charlidamelio:** even after all those times we locked coach in the storage closet?  
  


**Ushijima is online**  
  


**Ushijima:** the what in 1st year?  
  
**yamafatass:** OH SHIT  
  
**yamafatass:** tori bb ofc i trust you ily 😘😚👨❤️💋👨  
  
**charlidamelio:** ilyt 😘😚👨❤️💋👨  
  


**Ushijima is offline**  
  


**cooluncle:** yamagata i suggest you start running ushijima just left the dorm with his angry shoes  
  
**yamafatass:** OH SHIT  
  
**charlidamelio:** NOOO HAYATO BABE ILL HIDE YOU  
  
**yamafatass:** TY TENDOU BABE  
  
**cooluncle:** ushijima spotted you he's running  
  
**charlidamelio:** HAYATO BABE RUN YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE CHILD  
  
**yamafatass:** OFC I WANT TO BE THERE FOR FRED'S 1ST BIRTHDAY  
  


**yamafatass is offline**  
  
**charlidamelio is offline**  
  


**jill:** so are we not going to discuss how Tendou said they had a makeout session in 1st year 😳  
  
**geometry:** how about we discuss them shoplifting a minecraft toy of all things  
  
**carlwheezer:** let's discuss yamagata stealing ushijima's boyfriend  
  
**jill:** let's discuss tendou stealing reon's boyfriend.  
  
**cooluncle:** No. ❤  
  
**jill:** ok  
  
**carlwheezer:** let's discuss them having a child together named fred  
  
**geometry:** it's just a stupid rubber duck they won at a carnival 11 months ago  
  
**carlwheezer:** don't disrespect fred like that semi  
  
**jill:** yeah semi don't disrespect fred  
  
**geometry:** Tachi, Shirabu, can you do me a favor and SHUT THE FUCK UP  
  
**jill:** hmmm let me think about it  
  
**jill:** i thought about it, no ❤  
  
**carlwheezer:** i called my mom and she said no ❤  
  
**geometry:** fuck you guys  
  
**jill:** ur not my type  
  
carlwheezer: already did once in a wet dream ;)  
  
**geometry:** TAICHI WTF  
  
**jill:** PFFFT  
  


**geometry is offline**  
  


**jill:** taichi you just did gods work  
  
**carlwheezer:** pissing off people is what I do best  
  


**Shiratorizawa VBC**  
  


**Coach:** SHIRATORIZAWA 

**Yamagata, Ushijima, Taichi, Tendou, Semi, Goshiki, Shirabu, and Reon are online  
**

**Coach** : SHIRATORIZAWA WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN GOING ON 

**Coach** : FIRST SEMI PUSHING TENDOU AT THE WINDOW AT 2 AM  
  
**Coach** : NOW USHIJIMA CHASING YAMAGATA AROUND THE DORMS AND CAMPUS AT 11 PM  
  
**Coach:** SHIRATORIZAWA GET IT TOGETHER 200 LAPS TOMORROW  
  
**Coach:** You guys needs to CUT IT OUT  
  
**Coach:** You see-  
  


**Tendou has muted the conversation**  
**Tendou is offline**  
  


**Coach:** TENDOU 250 LAPS TOMORROW  
  
**Coach:** Get it together Shiratorizawa  
  
**Coach:** That is all, goodnight.  
  
**Coach is offline**

 **The next day**  
  
**8:46 pm**  
  
**We smash balls**

**yamafatass:** WHO KEEPS SENDING SHIT TO THE VOLLEYBALL STRUGGLES ACCOUNT 

**_on twitter..._ **  
  


**Volleyball team struggle tweets**  
**@volleyballteamstruggles Volleyball**

_**ace chases team libero for flirting with his middle blocker boyfriend** _  
  
**[insert video of Ushijima chasing Yamagata around Shiratorizawa a determined expression on his face. Semi can be heard laughing behind the camera. The video cuts as Ushijima catches up to Yamagata who screams "Sorry for making out with your boyfriend in 1st year spare me!"]**   


**6.3k retweets 4.2k quote retweets 7.8k likes **  
  
**Ushijima @ushijimawakatoshi**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles**  
**Delete this.**  
  
**yer dad @miyaatsumu**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**wtf goes on at stz lmfao theyve been on this twice now**  
  
**Tooru~ @oikawatooru**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**ew why are they still on here 🤢🤮**  
  
**Shiratorizawa @shiratorizawaofficial**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles and @oikawatooru**  
**@ us next time bitch**  
  
**Volleyball team struggle tweets**  
**@volleyballteamstruggles**  
  
**_Volleyball boy does WAP in front of old coach_ **  
  
**[insert video of Goshiki doing wap in front of coach while Shirabu snickers and Taichi hides his face in his shirt. Yamagata can be heard laughing from behind the camera. Coach is shocked and somehow angry too.]**   
  
**9.1k retweets** **8.5k quote retweets** **9.12k likes**

**Coach @washijotanji**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**I'm not old delete this!!!!**  
  
**Ushijima @ushijimawakatoshi**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**Delete this.**  
  
**BEST ACE @bokutoshootingstar**  
**replying to @volleyballteamstruggles **  
**WOOOOO GOSHIKI DID WHAT HE HAD TO DO**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again very sorry if they're ooc
> 
> im a raging kpop stan so tendou and semi are too!
> 
> yamagata and tendou flirt all the time but ushijima and reon are cool (they're also used it but we don't talk about that)
> 
> Ok I lied, tendou's not the only one on stz who uses emojis ironically shirabu taichi and yamagata do too
> 
> i feel semi uses them both ironically and unironically can't make up my mind.
> 
> ushi and reon don't use them  
> goshiki uses them unironically just like bokuto
> 
> i feel like stz are so comfortable with each other that they just use each other's first and last names all the time and switch which one they're using a lot


	3. the tasteful and the tasteless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tensemi? semiten? idk just them being raging kpop stans

**1:53 am**

**we smash balls**

**cooluncle:** Of course I'll help you with your assignments Shirabu

 **jill:** Thank you Reon!!!

**charlidamelio, geometry, yamafatass, and carlwheezer are online**

**charlidamelio:** how rude of you to text at this hour without inviting us

 **jill:** this is literally the groupchat I shouldn't have to invite you stupid ass bitch

 **charlidamelio:** 💔💔

 **yamafatass:** HEAR YE HEAR YE

 **geometry:** is that even how its spelled?

 **yamafatass:** no clue but ahaha

 **yamafatass:** n e ways

 **yamafatass:** we should make a team playlist for like on the bus and stuff

 **jill:** for once you have a good idea

 **carlwheezer:** yamagata ur peanut brain is so huge

 **yamafatass:** ikr

 **yamafatass:** wait a damn minute

 **yamafatass:** im going to ignore that

 **yamafatass:** since tendous the only one with rights here take the first pick

 **geometry:** wait what's the playlist name

 **yamafatass:** stz bad bitches

 **jill:** ew

 **carlwheezer:** yamagata 😀😆😀

 **yamafatass:** YOURE ALL SO MEAN

**Ushijima is online**

**Ushijima:** My input is before he cheats by Carrie Underwood.

**Ushijima is offline**

**charlidamelio:** wakatoshi-kun 😳

 **charlidamelio:** uhm anyways bad boy red velvet 🤩

 **geometry:** fancy twice

 **charlidamelio:** red flavor by red velvet 😀

 **geometry:** feel special by twice 😀

 **yamafatass:** i feel tension so shirabu what's your pick

 **jill:** pretty savage blackpink

 **charlidamelio:** look by redvelvet 🙂

 **geometry:** love foolish by twice 🙂

 **jill:** forever young blackpink 🙂🔪 

**carlwheezer:** wtf is going on

 **yamafatass:** i think theyre silently fighting on which of their fave gg's are the best

 **carlwheezer:** oh

 **carlwheezer:** my input is 3 nights dominic fike

 **yamafatass:** ok

 **yamafatass:** reon ik ur lurking put in your input

 **cooluncle:** wap, girls in the hood, cyber sex, daisy, savage, pussy talk, my type, act up, rules, captain hook, drunk in love, pills n potions, roman holiday, super bass, pound the alarm, and starships

**cooluncle is offline**

**charlidamelio:** REON UR TASTE OMFG 

**charlidamelio:** YAMAGATA YOURE SO LUCKY I WISH WAKATOSHI WOULD LISTEN TO PUSSY TALK WITH ME

 **geometry:** ugh reon your taste is so divine 

**jill:** that lineup is so scrumptious 

**carlwheezer:** reon>>>>>

 **yamafatass:** ik my man is superior wbk 💅🏼

 **jill:** anyways savage love by jason derulo the one withou bts tho

 **charlidamelio:** EW SHIRABU NO WTF

 **geometry:** SOMEONE KICK SHIRABU OUT RIGHT NOW

 **charlidamelio:** THIS IS SO DISRESPECTFUL TO REON WHO HAS ACTUAL TASTE UNLIKE YOU SHIRABU

 **charlidamelio:** BTS ELEVATED THAT SONG THEY SAW JASON STRUGGLING AND LENDED THEIR GODLIKE VOCALS AND RAP TO THE SONG AS A FORM OF CHARITY

 **geometry:** FR

 **geometry:** SHIRABU GET OUT YOU HAVE NO TASTE YAMAGATA DONT ADD THAT TO THE PLAYLIST OR I WILL CHUCK YOU INTO THE POND

 **yamafatass:** i dont wanna drown so sorry shirabu but no ❤

 **jill:** controversial but dance monkey

 **yamafatass:** SHIRABU...

 **carlwheezer:** GET OUT SHIRABU LEAVE

 **charlidamelio:** YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE SHIRABU THE DOOR IS RIGHT HERE 🚪 

**geometry:** no words

 **geometry:** shirabu you have ZERO taste this is INSULTING

 **carlwheezer:** I HAD FAITH IN YOU SHIRABU WTF THIS IS SO INSULTING

 **charlidamelio:** all agree to not let shirabu put in song input say ja

 **carlwheezer:** JA

 **geometry:** JA

 **yamafatass:** ja

**Ushijima and cooluncle are online**

**Ushijima:** Ja. Shirabu I am very disappointed

 **cooluncle:** Ja

 **cooluncle:** I try to be nice but Shirabu this is one of the highest levels of betrayal.

**Ushijima and cooluncle are offline**

**jill:**...

**jill is offline**

**yamafatass:** people keep fighting so just make a list of the songs you want me to add

 **yamafatass:** let this be a lesson to never pass shirabu an aux cord

 **carlwheezer:** wildest dreams taylor swift, you belong with me taylor swift, crazy in love beyonce, say my name destinys child, no scrubs tlc, wannabe spice girls, the whole heathers and hamilton soundtracks, my boo usher, kiss me thru the phone, replay, gold digger, and american boy estelle

**carlwheezer is offline**

**geometry:** fake love bts, cheer up twice, likey twice, hot twice, turn it up twice, make me go twice, shadow twice, dynamite bts, wonderland ateez, god's menu stray kids, wave ateez, boyfren love leo, pleaser wallows, tokyo rm, black swan bts, tempo exo, gravity exo, the one exo-cbx, up and down exid

**geometry is offline**

**charlidamelio:** where is the flavor tho?

 **charlidamelio:** singing in the rain heejin, egoist olivia hye, one and only gowon, love cherry motion, eclipse kim lip, so what loona, colors loona, hi high loona, satellite loona, butterfly loona, sweet crazy love, love4eva, view shinee, ring ding dong shinee, troublemaker troublemaker, 365 fresh, everynight exid, cool world red velvet, attaboy red velvet, run bts, love is not over bts, still into you, uma thurman, I just, seoul rm, sweather weather single, strawberry skies kid travis, laren men i trust, velvet light jakob ogawa, best friend rex orange county, sugar brockhampton, lovefool, my jinji, falling flower seventeen, baby dont like it nct, boom nct, and dancing mellow fellow

**charlidamelio is offline**

**yamafatass:** as usual tori has taste and flavor as a true person should

**yamafataas is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't bully me for my music taste it's a mess it goes from twice to like yikes by nicki minaj
> 
> uhm you don't have to read the paragraphs of music its just stuff I've pulled from my spotify playlist
> 
> also yes this chapter is important because it will be brought up in the next one it is a plot device ig?? I don't really know  
> you can fight me on this I do NOT like dance monkey or the original savage love


	4. STZ VBC DIVORCE 😢😢 [NOT CLICKBAIT]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> head go yum cells

**we smash balls**

**10:22 pm**

**charlidamelio:** let's play werewolf!!

**_charlidamelio has added werewolfbot_ **

**werewolfbot:** Enter m.join in chat to join game. At least 5 players required.

 **carlwheezer:** fuck it why not

 **charlidamelio:** m.join

 **carlwheezer:** m.join

 **geometry:** m.join

 **yamafatass:** m.join

 **jill:** m.join

 **Ushijima:** m.join

 **cooluncle:** m.join

 **dorakinnie:** m.join

 **jin:** m.join

 **charlidamelio:** HOLY SHIT JIN YOURE ONLINE!?!>!:

 **jin:** Yeah! I wanted to take a break for a bit but I'm back! :))

 **geometry:** YAY JIN

 **werewolfbot:** Your roles will be now messaged to you privately.

**Werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** You are cupid! Pick two people to be "soulmates" if one is eaten by the werewolf or lynched the other will also die. The same applies if one is saved by the doctor. Type c.(insert player name) c. (Insert player name)

 **carlwheezer:** ahaha

 **carlwheezer:** when shirabu first came to stz he had the biggest crush on ushijima ahaha..

 **carlwheezer:** c.jill c.Ushijima

 **werewolfbot:** Players Ushijima and Jill are now soulmates!

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** You are the doctor! You have the ability to save yourself or other people. Choose a player to protect from the werewolf everynight. Type m.save(insertplayername) to save a player.

**yamafatass: 😼😼**

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** You are the seer! You have the ability to "see" who the werewolves are once night falls. When called awake, type r. (playername) to reveal a player's role. You can then choose to keep this information a secret during the day, or reveal yourself as the Seer and use the knowledge you gained during the night in your defense or to your advantage during the day.

 **Ushijima:** Very well.

**werewolfbot has created a groupchat**

**wolves**

**werwolfbot:** You are the werewolves! Choose a player to attack each night by typing a.(insertplayername). Be careful to not get lynched. If both players are lynched the villagers win.

 **geomtery:** hell yeah 😼😼

 **cooluncle:** ok

 **jin:** k

**the rest are villagers bc i cant be bothered to add more roles**

**werewolfbot:** It is daytime. The villagers are roaming around the village. This just in! It seems cupid has struck their bow and arrow! Players Ushijima and Jill are now revealed to be soulmates! If one dies or gains protection from the medic so does the other.

 **charlidamelio:** 😃😆😃

 **charlidamelio:** they're

**charlidamelio: _what?_**

**geometry:**...

 **geometry:** did not laugh was not funny leaving 20 dislikes

 **jill:**...

 **Ushijima:** ...

 **Ushijima:** Did I do it right??

 **charlidamelio:** I don't know ask **@jill** since THEY'RE your soulmate 🙄

 **yamafatass:** LMFAO WHO DID THAT GOD TIER DRAMA

 **carlwheezer:** FR

 **jin:** omg I come back and this happens help

 **cooluncle:** I want to look away but I can't.....???

 **dorakinnie:** IN TEARS I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING

 **werewolfbot:** You have 2 minutes to discuss who to lynch! Good luck! 

**jin:** guys hear me out

 **jin:** we lynch Goshiki

 **jill:** I am Shirabu Kenjiro and I APPROVE this message

 **carlwheezer:** Agreed

 **Ushijima:** Very well, it is natural selection.

 **charlidamelio:** dw tomu I won't vote for you

 **yamafatass:** lmfao sure why not

 **cooluncle:** ok

 **geometry:** uhh sure???

 **dorakinnie:** GUYS????? 😭😭😭

 **werewolfbot:** Time is up! Type /lynch [player name] to select a player to lynch.

 **jin:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **geometry:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **cooluncle:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **Ushijima:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **yamafatass:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **jill:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **carlwheezer:** /lynch dorakinnie

 **dorakinnie:** WTH GUYS 😭😭

 **dorakinnie:** /lynch jill

 **charlidamelio:** i agree tomu

 **charlidamelio:** /lynch jill

 **werewolfbot:** That is 7 votes for player dorakinnie and 2 votes for player jill.

 **werewolf:** Player dorakinnie has been lynched!

 **werewolf:** Player dorakinnie was NOT the werewolf. 

**werewolf:** Night has fallen, players with a special role will now be contacted.

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** Who do you choose to save tonight?

 **yamafatass:** oh shit uhh

 **yamafatass:** hold up my spidy senses are t i n g l i n g 

**yamafatass:** m.savecharlidamelio

 **werewolfbot:** Player charlidamelio is now safe from the werewolves.

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** Who's role will you reveal tonight?

 **Ushijima:** r.charlidamelio

 **werewolfbot:** Player charlidamelio is a villager!

 **Ushijima:** Very well then.

**wolves**

**werewolfbot:** Who will you be attacking tonight?

 **geometry:** Guys, hear me out

 **geometry:** let's kill tendou and put him out of his misery

 **cooluncle:** won't it be obvious it's us then??

 **jin:** ehh debatable I agree to attack tendou

 **jin:** a.charlidamelio

 **cooluncle:** uhh ok

 **cooluncle:** a.charlidamelio

 **geometry:** a.charlidamelio

**we smash balls**

**10:34 pm**

**werewolfbot:** Good morning! Last night the wolves tried to attack player charlidamelio but luckily they were saved by the doctor.

 **charlidamelio:** WHAT

 **charlidamelio:** as ms nicki minaj once said...

 **charlidamelio:** Ayo, they could never make me hate you  
Even though what you was doin' wasn't tasteful  
Even though you out here lookin' so ungrateful  
I'ma keep it movin' be classy and graceful  
I told 'em it's no friends in the game, you ain't learned that yet

 **charlidamelio:** Self-righteous and entitled but they swearin' on the Bible that they love you  
When really they no different from all your rivals  
But I still don't wish death on 'em  
I just reflect on 'em

 **carlwheezer:** i-

 **yamafatass:** the drama today is so scrumptious 

**jill:** surprised you know that word  
  
 **yamafatass:** ya'll hear smth??

 **werewolfbot:** You have 2 minutes to decide who to lynch.

 **charlidamelio:** Me thinks wakatoshi-kun

 **yamafatass:** agreed he's too q u i e t

 **Ushijima:** What? I am not the werewolf.

 **charlidamelio:** l i e s 

**jill:** I think it's tendou

 **charlidamelio:** WHAAAAT??!?! no way!!!

 **Ushijima:** It is not Satori.

 **carlwheezer:** how are WE supposed to know that? you cant just blindly trust ur bf 🙄🙄

 **geometry:** agreed its satori

 **jin:** def satori

 **cooluncle:** ig satori??

 **werewolfbot:** Cast your votes on who to lynch.

 **jill:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **cooluncle:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **geometry:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **carlwheezer:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **jin:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **Ushijima:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **charlidamelio:** WAKATOSHI WHAT THE FUCK????

 **yamafatass:**...

 **yamafatass:** /lynch charlidamelio

 **charlidamelio:** HAYATO?!?!??

 **charlidamelio:** /lynch Ushijima

 **charlidamelio:** :(((

 **yamafatass:** NOOO IM SORRY

 **charlidamelio:** :(((((

 **yamafatass:** NOOO IM SORRY ILL BUY YOU THE NEW SHONEN AND CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

 **charlidamelio:** :))

 **werewolfbot:** That is 7 votes for player charlidamelio and 1 vote for player Ushijima.

 **werewolfbot:** Player charlidamelio has been lynched.

 **werewolfbot:** Player charlidamelio was NOT the werewolf

 **werewolf:** Night has fallen, players with a special role will now be contacted.

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** Who do you choose to save tonight?

 **yamafatass:** I feel guilty bc of tori :(((

 **yamafatass:** me thinks jin is in danger

 **yamafatass:** m.savejin

 **werewolfbot:** Player jin is now safe from the werewolves.

**werewolfbot**

**werewolfbot:** Who's role will you reveal tonight?

 **Ushijima:** r.jill

 **werewolfbot:** Player jill is a villager!

**wolves**

**werewolfbot:** Who will you attack tonight?

 **cooluncle:** hayato is the medic

 **cooluncle:** a.yamafatass

 **geometry:** daaammmn ok

 **geometry:** a.yamafatass

 **jin:** lmfao rip yamagata

 **jin:** a.yamafatass

**we smash balls**

**10:44 pm**

**werewolfbot:** Good morning! Last night the wolves attacked player yamafatass.

 **werewolf:** Player yamafatass was the medic.

 **jill:** WHAT

 **Ushijima:** I send my condolences to Reon.

 **cooluncle:** Isn't satori dead?

 **Ushijima:** Ah, yes. I suppose Satori is no longer with us.

 **werewolfbot:** You have 2 minutes to discuss on who to lynch.

 **jill:** I think it's Tachi he's too sus

 **geometry:** agreed

 **cooluncle:** trust

 **Ushijima:** Ok.

 **jin:** ok

 **carlwheezer:** i-

 **carlwheezer:** What?????

 **carlwheezer:** nah its def shirabu tf

 **werewolfbot:** Cast your votes on who to lynch.

 **jill:** /lynch carlwheezer

 **Ushijima:** /lynch carlwheezer

 **cooluncle:** /lynch carlwheezer

 **geometry:** /lynch carlwheezer

 **jin:** /lynch carlwheezer

 **carlwheezer:** it's literally fucking shirabu are you blind??

 **carlwheezer:** /lynch jill

 **werewolfbot:** Time is up. Player carlwheezer recieved 5 votes while player jill recieved 1 vote.

 **werewolfbot:** Player carlwheezer has been lynched.

 **werewolfbot:** Player carlwheezer was cupid!

 **werewolfbot:** The werewolves have won since the only two remaining players are lovers according to cupid! Player Ushijima was the seer

 **werwolftbot:** Congratulations to player geometry, cooluncle, and jin!

 **charlidamelio:** m.endgame

 **charlidamelio:** WHAT THE FUCK???

 **charlidamelio:** WAKATOSHI-KUN YOU KNEW IT WASNT ME AND YOU?!>qq/2rfcjwe

 **Ushijima:** Oh, yes, I suppose I was the seer as they call it.

 **dorakinnie:** USHIJIMA-

 **yamafatass:** I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE PISSED??!?!??!

 **carlwheezer:** FR WTF

 **cooluncle:** hayato-

 **yamafatass:** NO IM CANCELLING OUR DATE 😡😡😡😡

 **carlwheezer:** im literally screaming ive never been more pissed off shirabu CHOKE how tf was it not you you were so sus

 **jill:** i....

 **jin:** lmfao this was fun im going to sleep tho

**jin is offline**

**everyone is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for once i actually have nothing to really say??
> 
> uh no the last chapter doesnt tie into this one it was supposed to but like I didnt have to motivation to wright that but the next chapter probably will
> 
> I'm so sorry they're so ooc this is basically stz but stan twt language and raging kpop stans super sorry about that
> 
> anyways I'm going to try to get a schedule I don't really know what days I'll be posting but as soon as I have that figured out I'll let you know


	5. sneaking out the dorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> semiten being best friends bc i love their friendship and you can pry them saying l love you platonically to each other from my cold dead hands
> 
> If you wanna listen to something while reading this, I was listening to rose colored lenses by unlike pluto while writing this.

**9:58 pm**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** yEEEaaah YEah 💦 eh YEaAAAAH eh yeah yeah my 😘⭐ best friends brother 😤 is 💦♂ the 🙌 one for me 😊👇

 **geometry:** its 9 pm stop singing victorious

 **geometry:** also i remember when you liked my older brother that was weird 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

 **geometry** : that was weird and very much ILLEGAL 

**yamafatass:** semi's brother would of caught a CASE

 **yamafatass:** semi's brother got locked up for tryna bag a senorita 😰😰😱😱

 **yamafatass:** this aint a race semi's brother caught a case 😚🥴

 **geometry:** stfu

 **geometry:** no but seriously what did you see in him he was in college and you were a 1st year

 **charlidamelio:** a 👌 punk 😈 rock drummer and 👏 he's 👺 6ft 3 🤔

 **geometry:** I mean he was 6ft 3

 **geometry:** but that man cant play the drums for shit

 **geometry:** he cant even play an instrument in general

 **charlidamelio:** i 👁 dont 😠 want 👈🙏 to 👬 but i 💰 want 👏 to and i 👀👁 just ✔👮 cant ❌🚫 get 🖕 him 😩💻 out 😠 of 💦🐙 my 👨🌠 mind

 **carlwheezer:** Ushijima reading this: 😎🤏😳🕶🤏

 **yamafatass:** no lmfao he knew

 **Ushijima:** Sadly, I was very much aware of Satori's infatuation towards Eita's older brother at the time. It would have been hard not to since every waking moment, Satori would speak about him.

 **charlidamelio:** WAKATOSHI

 **charlidamelio:** you didn't have to expose me like that 😰

 **carlwheezer:** LMFAO HE HAD IT THAT BAD FOR YOUR BROTHER SEMI??

 **geometry:** sadly, yes

 **jill:** the question is who didn't used to have a crush on his older brother

 **geometry:** i-i-IM SORRY WHAT

 **carlwheezer:** I didn't have a crush on him ya'll weird

 **yamafatass:** same idk what ur talking abt shirabu

 **cooluncle:** no??? thats weird idk why I'd like semi's brother???

 **dorakinnie:** i'd like to say that i think shirabu and tendou were the only ones who liked semis older brother 😰😰

 **geometry:** I can't breathe wtf

 **jill:** I liked him bc he was you but not you

 **geometry:** rude

 **charlidamelio:** i liked him because he idk he existed and he treated me nicely so ig i developed a crush on him 😪😪

 **charlidamelio:** I mean it's legal now, I'm 18 😼😼

 **geometry:** YOURE JOKING....

 **charldamelio:** I MEAN.. 😳😳😛

 **geometry:** YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO'S READING THIS RIGHT NOW??!?7 ymh,uikiy 7 4r576gt6u78

 **charlidamelio:** toshi won't mind sharing 😋😋

 **geometry:** I-

 **geometry:** PLEASE STFU

 **geometry:** I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU AND M-MY BROTHER 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

 **jill:** imagine stuttering over text

 **carlwheezer:** tendou gone wild

 **geometry:** USHI I AM BEGGING CONTROL YOUR BOYFRIEND I DONT WANT HIM TO BECOME MY BROTHER IN LAW

 **Ushijima:** Satori, I do indeed mind sharing. I am asking you to please not leave me for Eita's older brother. 

**carlwheezer:** NJHDEERWHJ

 **carlwheezer:** IM IN TEARS

 **yamafatass:** i cant breathe omfg

 **jill:** Im speechless

 **dorakinnie:** AWW USHIJIMA SENPAI

 **charlidamelio:** fine i wont try my luck with semi's brother for you ushi😪😪

 **charlidamelio:** ily 😘😘

 **Ushijima:** I love you too Satori.

 **dorakinnie:** DADS 🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗💕💕💖💞💓💓💖💗🥰

 **yamafatass:** wait who are the team parents

 **carlwheezer:** well ushi's obviously the team dad

 **jill:** ok but whos the team mom

 **cooluncle:** its semi

 **cooluncle:** theres no way in hell its tendou

 **charlidamelio:** IM INSULTED REON 😢😢💔💔

 **cooluncle:** semi literally bought one of those baby harnesses for you because he didn't trust you alone in public

 **carlwheezer:** HE WHATSDCHN

 **jill:** WHEN>>?!?!??!:

 **charlidamelio:** OK BUT YOU DIDNT HAVE TO EXPOSE THAT

 **geometry:** i remember that lmfao

 **geometry:** ill bring it back if you start flirting with my brother

 **charlidamelio:** WHAT NO SEMISEMI I WAS JOKING PLS DONT BRING BACK THE HARNESS

 **charlidamelio:** DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS TO GO TO PRACTICE MATCHES AND SEMI WOULD HAVE ME ON A FROG HARNESS

 **geometry:** good times 🥰🥰

 **charlidamelio:** no not good times i have nightmares about it sometimes 😪

 **jill:** wait how'd tendou even fit in a baby harness

 **yamafatass:** he's skinny go figure

 **jill:** i knew he was skinny but i didnt know he was THAT skinny

 **charlidamelio:** stfu i barely fit in that harness it was pure suffering 

**semisemi**

**1:39 am**

**semisemi:** pspsps

 **you:** we're literally in the same dorm?

 **semisemi:** ik but what if we sneak out and get mcdonalds

 **you:** im in

"Hurry up!" Semi whisper-yelled as he tried pushing Tendou out the window. "Shut up we're going to get in trouble," Tendou hissed. Semi rolled his eyes. Tendou safely climbed out the window, landing on the ground softly. "Your turn," Tendou said as he watched his roommate carefully hook a leg over the windowsill. "You sure it's fine?" Semi asked cautiously. "If I'm fine, you'll be fine. Now hurry up and stop being a coward this was your idea!" 

Semi softly groaned as he let go of the windowsill and landed on the ground. He looked around to see if the security guard were looking. Once he knew the coast was clear, the took off running, Tendou following closely behind. By some miracle, they weren't caught hopping the fence.

Tendou panted, hands on his knees, once they were outside the school. "That was so much work just for some fries." The redhead whined. "Shut up." Semi hissed. "No fun Semi!!!" Tendou whined once again. That's when his eyes went wide. "Semi get to the car quickly! Security can still drags our asses back in if we're just standing outside the gate!" He said frantically as he took of sprinting to Semi's car. "Shit you're right!" Semi replied as he too, took off running. 

A couple minutes later, they found themselves in the Mcdonald's parking lot as Tendou gorged on fries. "I know I was complaining earlier but these fries were so worth it!!" Tendou exclaimed, mouth still full of food. "Hey! Swallow your food before you talk," Semi complained, taking a sip of his iced coffee. "Whatever. Anyways, what's the real reason you wanted to sneak out at one-am. There's no way it's just for a burger," Tendou asked his best friend with a knowing look. Semi sighed as he ran a hand through his ash gray hair. 

"You caught me! I need to get something off my chest," Semi said wearily as he glanced outside to window to the dull street lights. "Well? What is it? You know you can tell me Semi, we're best friends," Tendou said comfortingly as he placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"I think I like Shirabu..." Semi muttered softly. Tendou's gaze softened. "Took you long enough to realize!" Tendou joked as Semi quickly snapped his head towards Tendou. "Careful, you might get whiplash," Tendou joked. "Okay but in all seriousness Eita, don't worry too much. If your really sure you like him, I'll help you confess." Tendou said comfortingly as he wrapped an arm around his best friend. "Thanks Tori, I knew I could count on you." Semi said, a small smile presenting itself on his lips. "No problem. You did the same for me so it's only fair I do it for you too!" Tendou chuckled, a fond look on his face. 

"Well you and Wakatoshi were idiots who were never going to get their shit together if I hadn't helped." Semi said, a smirk on his face.

"But the point still stands!!" Tendou complained.

"I love you," Semi said as he happily sighed. "Awwww Eita-kun finally admitted he looveeess me!!" Tendou swooned. "I regret it." Semi huffed. "No Semisemi! I love you too! Just don't tell Wakatoshi-kun that~" Tendou said with a wink. Semi laughed. "Yeah ok you idiot." 

Semi sat in his seat, with a fond smile. He really couldn't have asked for a better best friend, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if they're ooc!!!
> 
> Really sorry if if the writing at the end is bad im not that good imo
> 
> my biggest flex is having 15k reads on smth on wattpad ( a secret account tho 😰😰)
> 
> idk if semi has actual siblings in canon but for now he does  
> semiten friendship is the cutest so had to write it as a little extra at the end of the chapter (and plot device)


	6. discord e-thots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just chaos between semi tendou and yamagata

**hottest people on stz vbc**

**_satori changed the group name to heathers but broke_ **

**hayato:**????

 **eita:** wdym broke??

 **hayato:** you've literally never had to pay for ANYTHING since you and wakatoshi got together

 **satori:** HEY I PAY FOR STUFF

 **eita:** what do you pay for??

 **satori:** UHH

 **satori:** I PAY FOR MY SHONEN

 **hayato:** when was the last time you payed for that shonen tho 

**satori:** OK FINE WAKATOSHI PAYS FOR EVERYTHING

 **satori:** but he wont pay for anything anymore so im broke

 **eita:** boo you have it so hard ur bf wont pay for anything

 **satori:** NO NO BUT HEAR ME OUT

 **satori:** I WAS TALKING TO KENMA AND HE SAID HE USED TO GET MONEY OFF OF HORNY DISCORD DUDES BY PRETENDING TO BE A GIRL

 **satori:** SO WHAT IF WE PRETENDED TO BE GIRLS AND MAKE BANK

 **hayato:** I AM LISTENING

 **eita:** HAYATO WTF NO 

**satori:** YOU KNOW YOURE BROKE AND WANT TWICE TICKETS

 **satori:** THIS IS HOW YOU CAN MAKE MONEY FOR THOSE TWICE TICKETS

 **eita:**....

 **eita:** I AM LISTENING

 **satori:** good 😼😼

 **satori:** first we need discord accounts and fake names

 **hayato:** ok my fake girl name is Yui 😼😼

 **eita:** rin 😼

 **satori:** Yuna 😼

 **satori:** alright give me ur discords and ill make a gc where we can discuss this 🙄

 **eita:** rinrin #1234

 **hayato:** Yuiii #4321

 **satori:** alright 😼👍

**#general**

-> Yay you made it, **Yuiii**!

-> **rinrin** has joined the party.

 **yuna:** ok team lets all meet up at our dorm

 **yuna:** hayato pls dont let wakatoshi and oohira know btw

 **yuiii:** uh i obviously wont tell them 🙄🙄

 **rinrin:** ok lets join a random sugar daddy server

 **yuna:** no kenma gave me the serv he made bank off of we'll join that one

 **rinrin:** ok

 **yuiii:** alright alright

-> Yay you made it, **Yuiii**!

-> **rinrin** has joined the party.

-> A wild **yuna** is here!

 **Ren:** Hi, I'm Ren one of the server moderators! Is it ok if we can get some pictures of your faces and your names/ages.

 **yuna:** Hi! I'm Yuna!! I'm 18 o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

 **rinrin:** im rin and im 18 too

 **yuiii:** i im yui and im 18!!! OwO

_In real life_

"FUCK THEY WANT PHOTOS!" Yamagata panicked. Semi paced back and forth. "What if went to go buy wigs and skirts," Tendou suggested. Semi sighed. "I guess we're going shopping," he said as he ran a hand through his hair.

_back to discord_

**2 hours later**

**Ren:** Uhh are you guys going to show ur face?? **@yuna @rinrin @yuiii**

 **yuna:** omg sorry i had to do something! (っ °Д °;)っ

 **yuna:** image.jpg

 **eito:** you're so pretty yuna! 

**yuna:** haha thank u o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

 **rinrin:** image.jpg

 **tatsuo:** 😎🤏😳🕶🤏🥵

 **rinrin:** btw my dm's are open 😉

 **tatsuo:** 🙈🙈

 **yuiii:** image.jpg

 **yukio:** im choosing to see

**tatsuo**

**tatsuo:** how much for an ass pic? 

**rinrin:**....

 **rinrin:** 30 dollars

 **tatsuo:** aight bet give me your paypal

 **rinrin:** fr? 😳🙈

 **tatsuo:** hell yeah

 **rinrin:** [insert paypal]

 **tatsuo:** just sent the money 😉

**catfishes**

**#general**

**rinrin:** HOLY SHIT THIS DUDE DEADASS JUST SENT ME 30 DOLLARS FOR AN ASS PIC

 **yuiii:** you know the drill bend over so we can take that ass pic and send it to him 🙄

 **yuna:** cmon semisemi put on that skirt and bend over dont be shy

 **rinrin:** i hate you both im doing this for twice

 **tatsuo** **  
**

**rinrin:** image.png

 **tatsuo:** holy shit

 **tatsuo:** hey rin i'd totally pay 300 to see you and you friends from the serv in maid outfits 😳😳

 **rinrin:** send the money and ill send the pic in a few

 **tatsuo:** just sent the money 🥵🥵

**catfishes**

**#general**

**rinrin:** dude just offered to give 300 to see us in maid outfits

 **yuna:** alright lets go buy maid outfits and split the money

 **yuii:** IM FINALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD THE GOOD RAMEN OMG

**tatsuo**

**rinrin:** maids.jpg

 **tatsuo:** HOT 🥵🥵 **  
**

 **rinrin:** ik 😉😉

**_a couple weeks later.._ **

**taichi snorted corn**

**taicheese:** why tf do yamagata, tendou, and semi have so much money lately

 **shiraburntout:** now that you mention it they've been very secretive lately

 **reonceler:** uh ig hayato has been kinda going to semi and tendous dorm a lot

 **WAPatoshi:** Satori has been distant as well. 

**taicheese:** wait you're saying yamagatas been at their dorm a lot??

 **shiraburntout** : omg now its comfirmed those three are up to something

 **reonceler:** i think hayatos in their dorm rn actually

 **taicheese:** alright me and shirabu will go and investigate 

**shiraburntout:** im sorry who said i was going?

 **taicheese:** I did. Have a problem? 🙂'

 **shiraburntout:** Yeah I do.

 **taicheese:** this is an opportunity to possibly humiliate semi

 **shiraburntout:** why didn't you just say so? lets go!

 **WAPatoshi:** Good luck.

 **reonceler:** tell us how it goes

Shirabu and Taichi quickly made their way to Semi and Tendou's dorm, excited to expose the elders. Taichi recorded as they swiftly opened the door. What they walked in was a sight they wish they could no longer see.

"OH WHAT THE FUCK!!!" Shirabu screamed as he saw the sight in front of him. 

Tendou, Semi, and Yamagata were dressed as cat girls. Tendou quickly turned towards Shirabu and screamed himself. "OH MY GOD," Taichi screeched. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET OUT!!!!!" Semi yelled as he covered his face with a pillow in embarrassment. Yamagata just stood still, not knowing what to say or do. 

**we sma** **sh balls**

**jill:** WHATTHEFUCKWAHTTHEFUCKWAHTTHEFUCK

 **jill: @yamafatass @geometry @charli damelio** WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK

**_carlwheezer sent a video_ **

**carlwheezer:** wtf i can never unsee that omfg omfg

 **geometry:** IM GOING TO CRY ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

 **Ushijima:** Satori what the hell.

 **dorakinnie:** Ushijima cursed 😰😰

 **charlidamelio:** WAKATOSHI I SWEAR ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE PLS

 **cooluncle:** im speechless

 **yamafatass:** REON NO PLS I SWEAR I CAN EXPLAIN

 **carlwheezer:** alright explain

 **carlwheezer:** i'd love to hear the story behind this one

 **geometry:** PLS I JUST WANTED TWICE TICKETS

 **charlidamelio:** I WAS BROKE

 **yamafatass:** uhh we pretended to be girls on discord to get money from horny dudes

 **charlidamelio:** HAYATO NOOO

 **geometry:** NONONONONO

 **cooluncle:** im sorry you- WHAT

 **Ushijima:** I am speechless.

 **jill:** WAIT A DAMN MINUTE

 **jill:** YOU DIDNT...

 **jill:** NO...

 **jill:** PLS DONT TELL ME YOU SENT WHOEVER WAS PAYING YOU PICTURES OF YOU AS CATGIRLS FOR MONEY

 **charlidamelio:**....

 **yamafatass** : ....

 **geometry:**....

 **cooluncle:** Give us your phones.

 **yamafatass:** S O BS REON PLS

 **Ushijima:** Satori, your phone please.

 **charlidamelio:** IM SOBBING TOSHI PLS I SWEAR I WONT DO IT AGAIN

 **Ushijima:** Your phone. Satori.

 **dorakinnie:** you made ushijima senpai mad 😭😭

 **geometry:** PLS SATORI THEYRE ACTING LIKE OUR DADS IM GOING TO CRY

 **carlwheezer:** ur phone, semi 👁👁

 **geometry:** sobbing rn

**taichi snorted corn**

**taicheese:** SEMI BELONGS TO THE STREEETS HE REALLY SENT THIS DUDE AN ASS PIC FOR 3O DOLLARS

 **shiraburntout:** HE DID WHAT

 **WAPatoshi:** I am very disappointed in Satori.

 **reonceler:** same ushi, same

**Ushijima  
@ushijimawakatoshi**

**I put my life on the line for my boyfriend that Satori would never sell his explicit pictures.**

**12.4k retweets ** **7** **k quote retweets** ** 15.9k likes**

 **HARUHI BEST GIRL @TENDOUSATORI**  
 **replying to** ** @ushijimawakatoshi  
** **WAKATOSHI PLS STOP I SAID DONT TELL ANYONE**

 **FREEBRITNEY @semieita**  
 **replying to @ushijimawakatoshi  
** **INCOHERENT SOBBING NOISES**

**im eating that good ramen @yamagatahayato  
replying to @ushijimawakatoshi  
SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP**

**Ushijima  
@ushijimawakatoshi**

**I put my life on my God that Satori would never photograph himself doing playboy, and that's on God.**

**12.4k retweets ** **7** **k quote retweets** **15.9k likes**

 **HARUHI BEST GIRL @TENDOUSATORI**  
 **replying to** ** @ushijimawakatoshi  
** **IM SOBBING PLS STOPP**

**Tooru~ @oikawatooru**   
**replying to @ushijimawakatoshi**   
**😃😆😃  
IM SORRY-  
HE WHAT**

**yer dad @miyaatsumu**   
**replying to @ushijimawakatoshi**   
**W-WHAT?!?! WHAT THE HELL GOES ON AT SHIRATORIZAWA VBC WHAT THE FUCCCKKK @kitashinsuke @sakusakiyoomi @osamumiya ARE YOU SEEING THIS?!?!?!?**

**better twin@osamumiya  
replying to ** **@ushijimawakatoshi**   
**AM I WITNESSING A SCANDAL**

**BEST ACE @bokutoshootingstar**   
**replying to @ushijimawakatoshi**   
**BRO ANSWER THE GC 😰😰😰**

**Shiratorizawa  
@shiratorizawaofficial**

**In regards to the rumors circulating that some of our volleyball player have photographed themselves in explicit ways, we have no comment.**

**14k retweets 9** **k quote retweets** **14** **k likes**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt know how to end it sorry😢😢


	7. Frog Harnesses: A cautionary tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short spin-off to chapter 5 where it was mentioned briefly tendou was put on a frog harness at one point
> 
> the harness in question 
> 
> https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/4c238a8d-7b1b-4e47-9d6f-4d0b36821033_1.927f994b6ce0e15926fc4d58db7a0169.jpeg?odnWidth=612&odnHeight=612&odnBg=ffffff

Semi sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

He couldn't believe this is what he was doing.

Instead of relaxing in his dorm, he was at Babies R Us on a Saturday at nine pm.

Semi wandered aimlessly around the store, praying that he could find what he needed, and get out of there. "Where the fuck is it," he cursed, drawing many disappointed looks from the mothers around him. Semi sheepishly lowered his head and avoided eye-contact with everyone. 

Finally, Semi stumbled into a random aisle and found what he was looking for. "Hallelujah!" he cried, holding up the item as if it were the eucharist. A few more middle-aged women shot him weird looks as he practically cried in joy. Semi rushed to the checkout immediately, and basically threw his money at the cashier once she scanned the object. For the third time that night, another woman had shot the teen a strange look. Semi was practically buzzing with excitement as he ran to campus.

"I'm back," Semi panted, hands on his knees as he arrived at his dorm. Tendou shot up from his bed and banged his head against the top bunk. Semi burst out laughing.

"Not funny! You startled me!" Tendou pouted, folding his arms over his chest. "Not on purpose," Semi replied. "Whatever," Tendou said as he stuck his tongue out. Semi smirked as he began speaking again, "Anyways, I got the _thing_."

Tendou's face went pale.

"No...you didn't..." Tendou trailed off, looking Semi square in the eye. Semi cackled as he spoke, "oh, yes, yes, I did."

In the eyes of the first-year middle blocker Tendou Satori, Semi's grin at that moment was the evilest thing he'd seen in his whole life.

At that moment, Semi knew he had won whatever imaginary game he and his roommate were playing.

**...**

"When are they arriving?" Hanamaki complained. Oikawa rolled his eyes before giving a response, "Hopefully never, I would die peacefully if I never got to see Ushiwaka's stupid face again."

Just at that moment, Shiratorizawa's bus arrived at the parking lot. Matsukawa snickered, "Speak of the devil."

"Oh shut up Mattsun!" Oikawa hollered.

"Never!" Matsukawa said with a wide grin on his face.

Everybody stood up straight as the players had begun to file off the bus. The third-years got off first, followed by the second-years. They all held their breaths as they waited for Shiratorizawa's notorious first-years to get off.

Oikawa scowled as Ushijima got off first, making snide remarks to anyone who will listen.

Finally, it was time for the man, the myth, the absolute legend, Tendou Satori, to get off the bus.

The teams watched attentively as they held their breaths waiting for the renowned Guess Monster, but what they saw absolutely shocked everyone.

The Guess Monster was no longer a terrifying entity or a goblin of a man. No, he was now a pouting fifteen-year-old wearing a frog harness meant for literal toddlers. To top it all off, their first-year seater was the one holding the leash. Hanamaki and Matsukawa burst out laughing, much to their coach's disapproval.

Tendou frowned before yelling at them, "Hey! Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumber! What are _you two_ laughing at?!"

Hanamaki and Matsukawa shut up.

Shiratorizawa's coach put his face in his hands, clearly embarrassed by the appearance of his last two players, but not wanting to speak on the matter. It was silent as Shiratorizawa lined up next to Aoba Johsai on the pavement, Tendou still confined in the tiny frog harness. Semi held the leash with a shit-eating grin on his face. He was clearly relishing in Tendou's suffering and embarrassment.

After what seemed like forever, Aoba Johsai's coach cleared his throat and spoke up, "Well, now that everyone's here. I'd like to say thank you to all the teams for showing up on such short notice! We will now be heading inside as we have somewhat of a mini-training camp today. Remember to work hard!"

They had all began to walk inside. Semi had stopped momentarily to talk to Reon. _This is my time_ , Tendou thought as he darted his eyes around the room before making a run for it. Much to the redhead's dismay, Semi gripped the leash tightly without batting an eye. Tendou whined before stomping his foot like a three-year-old. "Semisemi! Can you please hurry up so we can get to the gym!" The redhead continued to whine. Semi groaned, "Shut up, you brat, we'll get there when we get there."

"Semi!!! You're so rude! I'm older than you!"

"I don't care."

"But Semi!!! This is so humiliating!

"Good."

"Whyyy!"

Aoba Johsai stood still, just staring at Shiratorizawa. They absolutely could not believe their eyes. The Guess Monster, who would taunt them, and shut down their spikes as if they were nothing, was now reduced to a child's harness. The Guess Monster was walking around with a stuffed frog on his back, Semi Eita holding the leash to said harness. Oikawa blinked. _What the hell was he watching?_

They watched as Semi tried his best to free Tendou from the harness so they could play.

For the rest of the game, Seijoh could not focus or look at Tendou; Too scared they'd burst out laughing at the thought of him going back to the harness after the practice match. In the end, Shiratorizawa ended up winning. But this time, they didn't mind. Oikawa practically glowed with glee as he saw Semi helping Tendou back into the harness. Oikawa turned to Hanamaki, who was recording the whole ordeal, and decided the speak up, "Is that for blackmail?"

"Hundred-percent sure I'll need this in the future," Hanamaki replied with a snort.

**...**

Tendou laid in his bed reading a copy of Shonen Jump before tossing the magazine aside.

"Semi!" The middle blocker chirped, already annoying his roommate.

"What do you want?" Semi replied, clearly annoyed. "Can we go out for boba?" Tendou asked, batting his eyelashes at the setter for dramatic effect. Semi paused for a moment before nodding. "Sure, why not?"

"But first, the harness," Semi smirked. Tendou let out a cry of pain. "No!! Please, Semi, you can't do this to me!" Tendou begged. After a few minutes of back and forth fighting, Tendou was in the harness.

Tendou threw on a pair of sunglasses, hoping nobody would be able to recognize him in public. However, that obviously wasn't going to work if his red hair clearly stood out. Even if his hair didn't stand out, his lanky build sure did.

Semi kicked Tendou in the back, causing the other to let out a yelp.

"What was that for?!?!?!"

"Hurry up! You're walking too slow! I'm the one who has to be dragged behind you," Semi complained.

"Nobody's forcing you to put me on toddler harness!" Tendou shot back. Semi rolled his eyes before walking ahead of Tendou, yanking the leash cause Tendou to stumble. "Wait! Slow down! You're practically dragging me around," the middle blocker carped. To his dismay, Semi began to walk faster.

Tendou felt many pairs of eyes on him as he was being dragged down the street. He was far from loving life at the moment. "I won't forget this! I'm going to get you back for this one day!" Tendou swore. "Mark my words!" Tendou continued. 

**...**

Semi dragged his spindly friend around on the leash, a few mothers once again, shooting him weird looks. At this point, though, Semi was used to moms giving him strange looks at Babies R Us.

Finally, they made it to _the_ aisle. "Alright, I think the issue is that you're not liking the frog all that much. Frankly, that's quite offending, but I digress. So pick a new animal that you're happy with, and stop complaining." Semi said, grinning proudly with his hands on his hips; Tendou shot Semi an unreadable look. "No! I may not like being on a leash, but I'm not giving up this frog anytime soon! You can pry him from my cold dead hands!" Tendou chided. "Geez, fine, you can keep the frog!" Semi replied, obviously tired of his best friend.

**...**

"Okay, Ushijima, what I need you to do is really simple. Just hold the leash while I go buy pocky with Reon and Yamagata. Okay?" Semi asked the wing spiker. Ushijima nodded. "Great! I knew I could count on you, Ushijima!" Semi said, breathing a sigh of relief. If he could trust anybody to make sure Tendou didn't get out of his harness, he knew it would be Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"Tendou, Semi has informed me we need to go to the park. Please behave." Ushijima said in his monotone voice. Tendou groaned; _That sneaky bastard Semi_ , he thought.

Semi knew Tendou couldn't say no to Ushijima, which is why he gave the leash to him. "Wakatoshi-kun! You know what would be really nice of you," Tendou began, the wheels in his mind beginning to turn. Ushijima paused for a second before responding, "What?" Tendou smiled and replied, "If you helped me out of this harness and let me run free!" Tendou batted his eyelashes, hoping it had an effect on his friend. Ushijima stared at him with an unamused expression on his face. "No." The ace said. Tendou's face fell, and he cried silently in defeat.

**...**

Tendou hissed. The redhead was no longer putting up with this mistreatment. "Tendou, please get off the fridge," Reon asked nervously. "Never!" The feral middle blocker hissed. "This is exactly why you were on the harness!" Semi muttered. "Go to hell, Semi!" Tendou yelled. Semi groaned before turning to look at Ushijima. "Please get him off the fridge." The angry setter told the giant. "Very well," Ushijima responded.

Tendou suddenly feared for his life as Ushijima approached the fridge he was sat on. "Wait! Guys, we can talk this out!" Tendou said frantically. Tendou screeched as Ushijima dragged him off the fridge.

"If we stop putting you in the harness, will you stop hissing at us?" Semi finally asked exhaustedly. Tendou began thinking before nodding.

The Shiratorizawa Volleyball club all shared one last glance at each other before agreeing.

Since that day, Tendou Satori was free from being dragged around on a children's harness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a shot everytime I say harness/ frog harness/leash 
> 
> ehh this is kinda bad but 😰


	8. The Second Coming Of Christ: Told by Goshiki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter than usual but wanted to get this out there

**8:35 pm**

**we smash balls**

**dorakinnie:** GUYS I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

 **jill:** don't think too hard you'll fry your brain cells

 **dorakinnie:** MEAN

 **charlidamelio:** what did you realize tomu

 **dorakinnie:** USHIJIMA SENPAI IS THE 2ND COMING OF CHRIST

 **jill:** let me move my bang so I can read that again

 **cooluncle:** what???

 **carlwheezer:** goshiki what the hell

 **Ushijima:** I was not made aware of this.

 **charlidamelio:** pls I-

**geometry:** _blinks_

**yamafatass:** 👁👄👁

**_jin is online_ **

**jin:** 😃😆😃

**_jin is offline_ **

**cooluncle:** Goshiki, let me get this straight.

 **cooluncle:** You think Ushijima Wakatoshi, a gay Japanese volleyball player, is the 2nd coming of christ?

 **carlwheezer:** I didn't even know you were religious 

**charlidamelio:** fuck church all my homies hate church

 **jill:** why do you have a vendetta against the church?

 **geometry:** he got kicked out once because they thought he was satan reincarnated 

**jill:** deserved

 **charlidamelio:** you're so rude

 **dorakinnie:** Would the years before Ushijima Senpai was born be called b.u

 **dorakinnie:** like before ushijima

 **dorakinnie:** yknow how in the olden days they used to call b.c before christ because it was before it christ so wouldnt the same apply for him??

 **yamafatass:** goshiki are you ok??

 **carlwheezer:** I think he's loosing it

 **geometry:** On today's episode of Shiratorizawa Mental breakdowns, our star is Goshiki Tsutomu. Goshiki here is convinced our Ace is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

 **dorakinnie:** GUYS IM NOT INSANE OR HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN

 **dorakinnie:** I'M NOT RELIGIOUS BUT I SWEAR HE'S THE 2ND COMING OF CHRIST

 **dorakinnie:** SENPAI DO I NEED TO MAKE A SHRINE AND PRAY TO YOU?!?!?!?

 **geometry:** if you need to pray to an Ushijima shrine you can use shirabu's

 **jill:** I DO NOT HAVE AN USHIJIMA SHRINE

 **carlwheezer:** yes you do you try to hide it in the back of our closet

 **jill:** TAICHI YOU SNITCH

 **carlwheezer:** Yamagata already knew about it 

**carlwheezer:** he found it while looking for something in our closet

 **carlwheezer:** he took pictures and was planning to use it for blackmail

 **yamafatass:** TAICHI YOU SNITCH THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BETWEEN US

 **yamafatass:** #TAICHIISASNITCH

 **jill:** #TAICHIISASNITCH

 **charlidamelio:** #TAICHIISASNITCH

 **carlwheezer:** what'd i even do to you tendou

 **charlidamelio:** you told semi i ate his pocky you snitch

 **carlwheezer:** What Ever Major Loser 🙄🙄

 **dorakinnie:** im omw to ur dorm shirabu ✝🛐🙏📿 

**jill:** ew no dont come here

 **Ushijima:** I am slightly disturbed. I will be going to sleep now.

**_Ushijima is offline_ **

**charlidamelio:** look what you guys did 😡😡

 **dorakinnie:** shirabu teach me how to make an Ushijima shrine to pray to if you won't let me in the dorm

 **jill:** NO

 **cooluncle:** Wait Goshiki why do you think ushijima is the 2nd coming of christ?? Like I need context

 **dorakinnie:** there's no other way he could be so perfect if he wasn't the 2nd coming of christ

 **carlwheezer:** ....

 **jill:**....

 **charlidamelio:**.....

 **geometry:** .....

 **cooluncle:** .....

 **geometry:** this is bringing me genuine pain I will be logging off now

**_geometry is offline_ **

****

**_shirabu added you to a group_ **

**_shirabu named the group "Praise Ushijima"_ **

**_shirabu has changed their name to pope_ **

**pope:** I'll be holding mass at 11 pm in the waffle house parking lot

 **goshiki:** eye-

 **goshiki:** OK!!!!

 **oikawa:** why

 **oikawa:** why am i here just to suffer

 **oikawa:** LET ME OUT WHY CANT I LEAVE

 **pope:** our religion needs a satan

 **pope:** tendou would be satan but he's dating ushijima so

 **pope:** you're satan instead

 **oikawa:** SHIRATORIZAWA IS SO WEIRD LET ME OUT

**_pope has changed oikawa's name to satan_ **

**satan:** WHYYY

**_satan has added iwaizumi_ **

**iwaizumi:** why do you keep adding me to gc's???

 **satan:** BACKREAD PLS

 **iwaizumi:** ill be there

 **satan:** WHAT

 **satan:** NO I DID NOT BRING YOU HERE TO WORSHIP USHIWAKA

 **satan:** I BROUGHT YOU HERE TO DEFEND MY HONOR

 **iwaizumi:** haha thats funny

 **iwaizumi:** no defend urself

 **pope:** one of us one of us

 **goshiki:** one of us one of us

 **satan:** NOOOO

 **satan:** YOU GUYS POISONED HIM!!!

 **pope:** shut up satan

_**satan is offline** _

**_iwaizumi has added sakusa_ **

**_iwaizumi is offline_ **

**sakusa:** what is this

 **pope:** backread

 **sakusa:** ...

 **sakusa:** I assume you'll be taking the appropriate safety measures?

 **goshiki:** yessir

 **sakusa:** I'll be there. 

**sakusa:** Have a nice night

**_sakusa is offline_ **

**goshiki:** should we add tendou to this?

 **pope:** NO

 **pope:** Tendou should never find about this

 **goshiki:** okaaayyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looks like ushijima now has his own religion!
> 
> look at me updating 2 days in a row im proud of myself
> 
> this idea came to me when i was forced to go to actual church and I find that beautiful
> 
> would you be interested in a short inarizaki spin off called 9 circles of hell ill put the bio i was thinking of here "Join Kita Shinsuke as he goes through the nine circles of hell, aka, inarizaki vbc"
> 
> i find this kinda ironic considering the chapter content but whatever
> 
> idk if itll be a short chatfic or written out one chapter short story or both which is why i need help deciding


	9. To All The Hands I've Caught Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> if you saw me commenting on other stories instead of updating this, no you didn't ❤

**10:30 pm**

**praise ushijima** ****

**pope:** Goshiki come with me, we have to sneak out to conduct the mass

 **goshiki:** yessir!!

 **sakusa:** I am on my way there as we speak.

 **iwaizumi:** im omw with it

 **satan:** You're so rude iwa-chan!!

 **satan:** Also im only going to supervise iwa-chan

 **satan:** i'd NEVER praise ushiwaka 😤😤

**10:30 pm**

**Atsumu is fighting semi #2020**

**atsumoo:** get ready bitch im in the car on the way there

 **noahcentimeter:** get ready to catch these hands hoe

 **lauradenim:** im going to be there for emotional support

 **lauradenim:** also to record the fight

 **noahcentimeter:** wow you care so much 🙄🙄

 **lauradenim:** only for u semi semi 😘

 **noahcentimeter:** ew im going to vomit

 **lauradenim:** 😪

 **osamoo:** im just here for the free food

 **atsumoo:** omg ur so annoying you can at least pretend ur here to support me

 **osamoo:** hell no 

**osamoo:** I hope semi wins

 **atsumoo:** I HATE YOU SO MUCH

 **osamoo:** the feeling is mutual

 **osamoo:** now shut yer trap or else ill be the one fighting you

 **atsumoo:** SOMEONE KICK HIM PLEASE

 **noahcentimeter:** No

 **lauradenim:** No

 **osamoo:** dont try me tsumu

 **atsumoo:** screw you samu

 **osamoo:** Atsumu used to piss the bed when we were 7

**_atsumoo left the chat_ **

**osamoo:** we had bunk beds too, and i had the bottom one, it was nasty

**_osamoo added atsumu_ **

**_osamoo changed atsumu's name to atsumoo_ **

**osamoo:** face the humiliation

**12 am**

**praise ushijima**

**pope:** Thank you for attending this week's mass, another one will be held 1 month from now.

 **sakusa:** That mass was very informational Shirabu-san, thank you.

 **pope:** It was my pleasure.

 **goshiki:** best hour of my life

**iwaizumi: 👍👍**

**satan:** i hated every second of that

 **satan:** iwa-chan can we go get dennys?

 **iwaizumi:** we're at a waffle house??

 **satan:** idc i want dennys

 **iwaizumi:** ugh fine you're paying for my gas

 **satan:** ok!!

 **iwaizumi:** do you guys want to come along too?

 **satan:** WHAT

 **satan:** DONT INVITE THEM OMG

 **pope:** sure

 **goshiki:** yeah!!!

 **sakusa:** why not

"SAY HELLO TO THE VOLLEYBALL SHADE ROOM!" Tendou excitedly yelled while recording. 

Osamu burst out laughing. 

Semi threw a peace sign at the camera before going back to fighting Atsumu.

"Oh my god, he fucking dead!" Tendou screeched as Semi got off of Atsumu. Atsumu let out a screech of pain before cursing out Osamu, "FUCK YOU SAMU! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"How is it my fault?" Osmau asked his twin.

"You manifested it!"

"I hate you."

"Guys can we go inside now? I want waffles," Tendou said, the redhead somewhat tired and beginning to yawn. 

Osamu helped Atsumu stand up, much to their horror, Oikawa Tooru appeared behind them.

"Oh my god! Why do I keep running into Shiratorizawa freaks?!" Oikawa cried. Iwaizumi's eyes narrowed as he scolded Oikawa, "Stop being rude! They didn't do anything to you!

Semi and Tendou stood there frozen.

"Oh, nah, we gotta go!" Tendou said.

The two best friends shared identical panicked looks before making a run for it.

"Hey! Where do you two think you're going?!" Atsumu complained, chasing after them. Osamu sighed as he followed his twin.

"What the fuck." Shirabu abruptly said.

**12:26 am**

**we smash balls**

**jill:** **@geometry @charlidamelio** do you wanna explain?

 **charlidamelio:** no

 **geometry:** no

 **carlwheezer:** oh my fucking god check the volleyball shade room

 **cooluncle:** that exists?

 **dorakinnie:** yeah! hinata told me tsukishima runs it!

 **yamafatass:** semi are you ok?

 **geometry:** no comment

 **carlwheezer:** semi's been so wild lately

 **charlidamelio:** semi's always been wild you people just havent had the privilege to see it

 **jill:** why were you even fighting atsumu tho??

 **geometry:** do you not open the setter gc??

 **geometry:** bitch was calling me a lazy 3rd year who get their spot stolen

 **geometry:** ofc he was going to catch these hands

 **charlidamelio:** AND SEMI WON AS HE SHOULD

 **Ushijima:** I can't believe I have to say this. Please, refrain from getting in fights. Semi, I expected better from you. I hope you do not get suspended. Go to sleep, we have practice tomorrow.

 **carlwheezer:** i feel hurt and that wasnt even directed towards me

**_dorakinnie went offline_ **

**yamafatass:** yikes

 **yamafatass:** forget team parents, ushijima is a single dad

 **cooluncle:** hayato, please go to bed

 **yamafatass:** ok, only for you 😚

**_yamafatass is offline_ **

**_cooluncle is offline_ **

**charlidamelio:** are we not going to discuss why shirabu even saw us there

 **charlidamelio:** and why oi**** was there??

 **Ushijima:** Satori. Go to bed. We need to speak tomorrow morning about you instigating this behavior.

 **charlidamelio:**...

 **charlidamelio:** ok wakatoshi :((

**_geometry is offline_ **

**_carlwheezer is offline_ **

**_Ushijima is offline_ **

**_Jill is offline_ **

**_charlidamelio is offline_ **

**12:58 am**

**Atsumu is fighting Semi #2020**

**laradenim:** THANKS A LOT NOW MY BOYFRIEND IS MAD AT ME 😡😠🤬😡😡🤬😠😠😡🤬

 **atsumoo:** isnt semi ur bf tho?? why would he be mad at you if he won?

 **noahcentimeter:** WHAT 

**noahcentimeter:** NO IM NOT DATING TENDOU ID NEVER DATE HIM

 **laradenim:** WTF IM DATING USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI NOT SEMI

 **osamoo:** wait ur dating ushijima??

 **laradenim:** YES?1!?!?!?3Y834DJF34IFCNM

 **noahcentimeter:** BYE IM LEAVING THIS IS SO?? I'D NEVER DATE TENDOU I DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT

 **laradenim:** i need to unsee what i just read

**_laradenim is offline_ **

**_noahcentimeter is offline_ **

**osamoo:** LOOK AT WHAT U DID TSUMU THIS IS SO AWK

 **atsumoo:** IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW

 **atsumoo:** THIS IS SO AWK IM GOING TO CRYBNVGJF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so bad omg  
> im so sorry it just keeps getting more and more random  
> im just struggling rn and i felt bad for not updating in so long so i wrote this but im so sorry!!
> 
> i promise the next like 3 chapters will be the semishira arc omg im so sorry
> 
> ive been meaning to ask this for a while but do you wanna see kawanishi and goshiki or no?? im open to other ships for both of them  
> idk why youre reading this?1?!?1/!383idj3  
> please, go check out this story, I absolutely love it/am obsessed with it and it deserves so much recognition!
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/27732772/chapters/67878508  
> also, how do you feel abt the crappykawa/shittykawa thing??  
> i personally dont care abt but i know some people dont really like it and i dont wanna make anyone uncomf or smth with that  
> i added it here to test the waters but pls let me know your opinions on that!!  
> same with the team mom thing, i added it before i knew that people didn't really like that either and learned why they didnt like it so i wanna apologize for that in case it made you upset


	10. GO GO SHIRATORIZAWA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the totally original start to the semishira arc 😏

**8:59 pm**

**volleyball fuckers**

**fukunaga:** so anyways thats how i found out my dad ate my grandma's ashes

 **kuroo:** are you ok?

 **yaku:** that's deeply disturbing, go see a therapist- 

**6 users are online**

**Reon:** Woah! Come on Shiratorizawa!

 **daichi:** i feel a sense of impending doom

 **matsukawa:** the one sane person on shiratorizawa, gone 😞

 **Ushijima:** Here we go! Here we go now!

 **oikawa:** oh hell no

 **oikawa:** let me out of this gc why do you CONTINUE to torture me

 **tendou:** HEYO SHIRATORIZAWA TELL ME WHATS THAT SOUND

 **atsumu:** literally what goes on at that school

 **semi:** HERE COMES SHIRATORIZAWA COMING TO PUT YOU IN THE GROUND

 **oikawa:** sobs

 **oikawa:** pls let me goooo

 **yamagata:** GO GO SHIRATORIZAWA

 **futakuchi:** go go lets go lets go dateko

 **goshiki:** GIVE A GREAT BIG YELL

 **tsukishima:** dang ok mickey mouse clubhouse 💀

 **taichi:** SHIRATORIZAWA WILL KNOCK YOU OUT

 **shirabu:** AND SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL

 **oikawa:** im going to GO to hell after I strange everybody on stz istg

**tendou: 🏃♂️**

**shirabu: 🏃♂️**

**taichi: 🏃♂️**

**Reon:🏃♂️**

**semi:🏃♂️**

**goshiki:🏃♂️**

**Ushijima: 🏃♂️**

**Tendou has added you to a group**

**Tendou has named the group "fuck bitches get money"**

**Tendou has changed their name to elmo**

**elmo:** alright mf's

 **elmo:** semi and shirabu and pining for each other and its so painful to watch them

 **elmo:** is this what semi felt when me and toshi were still pining too? 😨😨

 **goshiki:** omg i feel so honored you decided to include me in this tendou-senpai!! 

**taichi:** finally somebody notices

 **taichi:** i swear shirabu has a semi shrine somewhere in the dorm

 **taichi:** i can just SENSE it

 **yamagata:** brb going to raid your dorm to find it

 **tachi** : PLEASE DO

 **yamagata:** wait why aren't oohira, wakatoshi, and soekawa here??

 **elmo:** they'd tell us not to do it and snitch 🤬🤬😡🤬

 **taichi:** and goshiki won't? 🙄

 **goshiki:** HEY I WONT SNITCH 😠

 **goshiki:** if anything taichi would snitch

 **yamagata:** HAHA GET CALLED OUT

 **taichi:** whatever, i dont care about the opinions of someone who gets shirabu of all people to cut their bangs

 **elmo:** shirabu's bangs do be kinda clapped tho 😪😓😰😱

 **elmo:** as eita's best friend i'll be coming up with the plan

 **elmo:** it's quite simple, really

 **elmo:** we're going to lock them in the locker room together

 **taichi:** how original

 **yamagata:** we haven't locked anybody in any room in such a long time 

**yamagata:** im down

 **taichi:** how are we going to get them there tho?

 **elmo:** ill keep eita in the gym for a while

 **elmo:** goshiki will keep shirabu in the locker room for a long period of time

 **elmo:** ill go to the locker room with eita

 **elmo:** me and goshiki slip out the locker room and lock them in alone together

 **yamagata:** HELL YEAH 

**taichi:** fine but if we walk in on them fucking im blaming it all on you

 **elmo:** MISSION SHIRABU HAS A SEMI SHRINE (aka sss) IS NOW A GO!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh so unoriginal but there will be more
> 
> finally, the beginning to the semishira arc
> 
> kawanshiki will prob be happening but if you have any objections, speak now or forever hold your peace
> 
> i'd just like to say, if tendou were a female and a chef (not a chocolatier) he'd totally be rindo from food wars, ugh i love rindo sm this might be me just voicing my love for her
> 
> friend just told me if yaku and oikawa were a person it'd be me  
> honestly, i can see it
> 
> -short angry friend  
> -yells a lot (for both good and bad reasons, mostly good tho)  
> -extreme overconfidence in certain aspects to mask a shit ton of insecurity (i swear i do most of my projecting on oikawa)  
> -extremely annoying to close friends but some people who dont know me think im cool 😪 (not a lot tho)  
> -just oikawa with some minor changes (such as im way more aloof than oikawa)
> 
> would you believe me if i said i somehow ended up being the mom friend in my group of friends? 😰 (this has nothing to do with the characters listed above im just saying)
> 
> idk the end notes is just me rambling, ahh, hope you enjoyed and look forward to semishira arc which will hopefully be coming soon (maybe next 3 days?? not sure)


	11. If only to say you're mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> semishira nation, it's here  
> this one's for you
> 
> listened to sofia by clairo while writing this :)

**7:00 pm**

**we smash balls**

**_charlidamelio has changed Ushijima's name to Shawty_ **

**charlidamelio:** shawty a lil baddie she my lil boo thang @shawty😘🥵

 **jill:** and shorty got the fatty 🥵😻😻

 **charlidamelio:**...

 **carlwheezer:** PFFFT

 **cooluncle:** pffft

 **yamafatass:** NOOVFNJCFS

 **geometry:** HAHAHBSD

 **charlidamelio:** oh my god imagine someone sitting home mumbling and cackling instead of paying they mf bills 🤬😡😤

 **dorakinnie:** 🔫💥 

**charlidamelio:** yall mumbling and cackling???? yall sending group text messages about the mf queen while the queen is in the mf stu 😤🤬🤬

 **dorakinnie:** 🔫🔫🔫💥💥💥💥💥💥

 **charlidamelio:** TF YOU LAUGHING AT? BROKE PEOPLE SHOULD NEVER LAUGH 😠😠😡🤬🤬🤬🔫💥😤😤

 **yamafatass:** now hold on- 🏃‍♂️

**_Shawty has changed their name to Ushijima_ **

**Ushijima:** I have no words. None.

**_Ushijima is offline_ **

**dorakinnie:** USHIJIMA 😭😭😭😭

**7:06 pm**

**fuck bitches get money**

**elmo:** good job on the distraction team

 **taichi:** 👍

 **yamagata:** taichi really out here doing the bare minimum

 **goshiki:** so wait whats the plan again?

 **elmo:** ah, yes

 **elmo:** ive made some changes to the plan

 **elmo:** we're locking semi and shirabu in our dorm instead

 **taichi:** bet ill bring shirabu with me

 **goshiki:** cant they just get out the window??

 **elmo:** that's where you come in my sweet summer child

 **elmo:** youre going to stand underneath the window to make sure they dont climb out

 **elmo:** if you see them trying to escape contact yamagata asap

 **goshiki:** aye aye captain

 **elmo:** me and taichi will guard the door, hayato youre in charge of backing up goshiki

 **yamagata:** wait are we doing this rn?

 **taichi:** yeah, me and shirabu are on our way as we speak

 **yamagata:** OH SHIT OK

Shirabu reluctantly walked into the third-year's dorm, glancing around the familiar ivory walls decorated with posters and led lights before groaning.

"I don't see why I have to be here with you Taichi," Shirabu said with a scowl.

Just then, Tendou pushed Shirabu. 

Shirabu fell to his knees and he practically growled, his scowl becoming more hostile.

"What the hell?!" Semi and Shirabu said in unison. That's when Shirabu noticed Taichi was no longer in the room. He got up and made his way towards the door, but Tendou slammed it shut. Shirabu tried opening the door, multiple insults slipping out until he realized the door was locked.

Semi groaned. 

He knew exactly what Tendou was trying to do.

**Tendou**

**you:** What the hell?!

 **Tendou:** this is the only way you'll get your shit together, im doing you a favor. ill let you out as soon as you confess

**Shirabu**

**Shirabu:** can you let me out?

 **you:** wtf we're in the same room why are you texting me??

 **you:** as much as I'd love to let you out, me and tendou's lock is kinda busted rn so it can only be locked/unlocked with a key

 **you:** tendou took my key so.. :/

 **Shirabu:** this literally sucks

 **Shirabu** : why'd he even lock us in here together?

 **you:** it's not that bad

 **Shirabu:** what?

 **you:** nothing.

 **Shirabu:** you're acting so weird, just say whatever it is so i can leave as soon as possible

 **you:** is staying here with me really all that bad?

 **you:** do you really hate it that much...?

 **Shirabu:** ....

 **Shirabu:** Okay, NOW you're being super weird.

 **Shirabu:** Spit it out, what is it?

 **you:** wow you busted out the grammar

 **Shirabu:** Yeah, you're being weird and I want to get to the bottom of it.

 **you:** hhhh

 **you** : just pretend I never said anything

 **Shirabu:** No??

 **you:** I said forget about it.

 **Shirabu:** Shut up, you're acting like every male romcom lead ever.

 **you:**...

 **Shirabu:** Seriously, what is it?

 **Shirabu:** You know you can talk to me, right?

 **Shirabu:** I know I can be rude, but I'm here for you if you're going through something.

 **you:** I might as well come clean

 **you:** I have a crush on someone

 **Shirabu:** Oh.

 **Shirabu:** Wait

 **Shirabu:** HOLY SHIT DO YOU LIKE TENDOU?? THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH

 **you:** WHAT

 **you:** NO

 **you:** THAT EXPLAINS NOTHING BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON TENDOU

 **Shirabu:** No, it's okay, no need to lie to me.

 **you:** BUT IM NOT LYING?!?!?!ENRFVJERC/'DFVKER;

 **Shirabu:** Don't worry, I won't tell Ushijima. Wouldn't want Ushijima being mad at you.

 **you:** WOULD HE EVEN BE MAD AT ME OVER SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

 **Shirabu:** SEE, YOU DO LIKE TENDOU

 **you:** NO I DON'T YOU'RE TAKING THIS SO WRONG

 **Shirabu:** Ok but if you don't like Tendou then who else could it be???

 **you:** oh my god

 **you:** Number 1, I don't like Tendou.

 **you:** Number 2

 **you:** ughh might as well say it

 **you:** Shirabu Kenjirou, I, Semi Eita, have a massive crush on you.

 **Shirabu:** What?

 **Shirabu:** What

 **you:** ugh I knew this was a mistake, ill text tendou to let you out

 **Shirabu:** No wait!

 **Shirabu:** Give me a second to process this.

**Taichi**

**you:** HOLY SHIT TAICHI, SEMI JUST SAID HE LIKES MEEFNJMFEJMFRKMRMKCEK

**Shirabu**

**Shirabu:** Ok, hi

 **Shirabu:** Are you sure?? Like are you 100% sure you like me???

 **you:** uhh yeah, I'm pretty sure I like you??

 **Shirabu:** okok thats good..

 **you:**???

 **you:** ok now YOU'RE acting weird

 **Shirabu:** Fuck

 **Shirabu:** I like you too 

**Shirabu:** oh my fucking god I just said it I'm going to go scream

 **you:** WAIT WHAT

 **Shirabu:** uh yeah

 **you:**....

 **Shirabu:**....

 **you:** ....

 **Shirabu:**.....

 **you:** So, does this mean we're dating now?

 **Shirabu:** Geez, how romantic

 **you:** ugh

 **you:** Shirabu Kenjirou, will you be my boyfriend?

 **Shirabu:** Wow! So nice 🥰🥰

 **Shirabu:** Haha, yeah sure

 **Shirabu:** let's be boyfriends

 **you:** so like...

 **Shirabu:** ugh this is literally out of a romcom

 **Shirabu:** remind me to thank tendou and taichi later

 **you:** :)

 **Shirabu:** Oh my god I fucking love you.

 **you:** woah

 **Shirabu:** im sorry that was really sudden idk where that come from im really sorry

 **you:** no its fine, its cute

 **you:** you're cute :)

 **Shirabu:** OH MY GODHDENDNS

 **Shirabu:** stop im actually going to cry this is not real life

 **you:** im pretty sure this is real life kenjirou

 **Shirabu:** OOMFNEJRJERMFER

 **Shirabu:** istg im so close to making out with you

 **you:** do it, you wont, coward

 **Shirabu:** bet

 **you:** :)

 **Shirabu:** :)

**Tendou**

**you:** thank you.

 **Tendou:** FUCK YEAH A WIN FOR THE GAYS

**fuck bitches get money**

**elmo:** THEY DID IT, THE GAYS WON

 **taichi:** HELL YEAH

 **goshiki:** WOOHOOO

 **yamagata:** IM SOBBING IM SO PROUD

**_elmo has changed the group name to "WE WON"_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes
> 
> this is kinda bad but its for semishira
> 
> im sorry this is so cheesy and its straight out of a romcom since i watch too many
> 
> kawashiki will be happening soon, dont know how soon is soon but s o o n
> 
> i say soon but watch them happen after like 5 chapters of nonsense
> 
> hope you enjoyed :)


	12. colonizers holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes, i am aware, its christmas. what about it?
> 
> merry christmas tho

**9:46 pm**

**we smash balls**

**dorakinnie:** guys!

 **dorakinnie:** lets celebrate thanksgiving

 **geometry:** we are japanese people living in japan

 **geometry:** why would we celebrate an american holiday

 **yamafatass:** we speak english even though we're japanese

 **carlwheezer:** don't break the 4th wall

 **charlidamelio:** why do you want to celebrate the colonizers holiday?

 **yamafatass:** colonizers go brrr ur land is now my property 

**charlidamelio:** goshiki are u a colonizer??!! 😰😰😨🤬🤬

 **yamafatass:** get out colonizer!! 🤬🤬😡😡

 **jill:** let's acknowledge that its december, not even close to when the colonizers holiday would be celebrated in november

 **jill:** in fact, we should be celebrating christmas, not thanksgiving

 **dorakinnie:** well uhm

 **cooluncle:** Sometimes

 **cooluncle:** I'm just so disappointed

 **Ushijima:** It's ok, Oohira. I also become very disappointed.

 **carlwheezer:** goshiki sometimes i wonder how tf you got in

 **jill:** shut up taichi I'm the only one who got in through the entrance exam

 **carlwheezer:** YOU, shut up 

**jill:** YOU

 **charlidamelio:** omg just kiss already

 **jill:** NO WAY IN HELL I WOULD KISS TAICHI

 **carlwheezer:** GROSS

 **yamafatass:** literal crickets

 **geometry:**....

 **dorakinnie:** ....

 **cooluncle:**....

 **Ushijima:**.....

 **Jin:**.....

 **geometry:** are you serious, right in front of my salad?

 **carlwheezer** : I'd rather die than date shirabu

 **jill:** the feeling is mutual

 **yamafatass:** you'd rather die than date urself? 😱😱😩😨

 **jill:** you're so fucking stupid

 **charlidamelio:** whats the 😩 for? 🤔

 **yamafatass:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT MY THUMB SLIPPED

 **yamafatass:** FUCK

 **cooluncle:** I am this close to shaving my head, I can't do this anymore.

 **yamafatass:** SHAWTY BAE NO UR SO SEC C

 **geometry:** oohira let's be bald besties together because i am this close too 🥰🥰

 **charlidamelio:** are you really abt to replace me like that?

 **geometry:** yes

 **charlidamelio:** so heartbroken 

**carlwheezer:** tape ur heart back together then

 **charlidamelio:** I HATE YOU ALLL OS MUCHDFN DJFFFFVNJDT

**charlidamelio is offline**

**Ushjima:** I'm VERY close to going bald as well. I will go comfort Satori now.

**Ushijima is offline**

**1 am**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** let's put on a production of the nutcracker

 **geometry:** i- what?

 **carlwheezer:** none of us can do ballet tho?

 **jill:** literally what?

 **yamafatass:**? ? ? this is so random??

 **dorakinnie:** this is very sudden 

**jin:** what the hell

 **charlidamelio:** i was watching videos of the nutcracker ballet and was like

 **charlidamelio:** "damn, i'd make a sexy sugar plum fairy"

 **geometry:** i face palmed so hard rn, ur so lucky you're with wakatoshi rn or else i wouldve climbed down the bank and smacked you

 **charlidamelio:** ignored

 **jin:** isn't the sugar plum fairy a super hard ballet routine tho that only pros can do??

 **jin:** how would you, a lanky 6ft redhead who has never done ballet ever, even pull that off?

 **charlidamelio:** idk but it'd look pretty hot in the outfit

 **jin:** oh my god. I'm out.

**jin is offline**

**carlwheezer:** you know what? lets say we DID put on a production, who would be who?

 **charlidamleio:** naturally, shirabu would be the rat king

 **geometry:** I SHOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED AT THAT

 **jill:** I HATE YOU SO MUCH, YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE WITH USHIJIMA RIGHT NOW OR I WOULD'VE SNAPPED YOUR NECK

 **jill:** ALSO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE SEMI WTF

 **geometry:** whoops, ily tho <3

 **jill:** HBDFHNCNJWDC CW

 **jill:** ily too <3 🥰🥰💖💖

 **carlwheezer:** youre both so insufferable, please get a room

 **jill:** shut up you act like you don't openly stare at [redacted] every day

 **carlwheezer:** shut up

 **dorakinnie:** who's redacted??

 **carlwheezer:** ....

**carlwheezer is offline**

**charlidamleio:** ohohoho 

**dorakinnie:** did i say something wrong? i should go apologize to taichi

 **geometry:** no, you didn't do anything, dont go apologize

 **dorakinnie:** are you sure? :(

 **jill:** ugh i cant believe im saying this but...

 **jill:** fuck

 **jill:** fine, ill deal with taichi dw about it shiki

 **charlidamelio:** do my eyes deceive me

 **geometry:** this is not real life...

 **yamafatass:** oh.my.fucking.god

 **jill:** shut up i knew it was a mistake

 **dorakinnie:** OH MY GODDHBSDNJWJMD

 **dorakinnie:** SHIRABU I CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH ILY SO MUCH OMG PLS GIVE ME A HUG SHIRABU PLSSS SHIRA SHIRA

 **jill:** oh.my.god

 **jill:** stay back no

 **jill:** that was a mistake please never call me shira shira again

 **charlidamelio:** semisemi 😏

 **geometry:** STOP WHAT UR DOING RN

 **yamafatass:** omg semisemi and shira shira

 **jill:** STOP

 **geometry:** I hate it here, can we go back to talking about the nutcracker?

 **charlidamelio:** no, i have my eyes set on something else now

 **geometry:** oh my god no

 **yamafatass:** so...shira shira

 **jill:** STOP

 **dorakinnie:** im so sorry shirabu i didnt mean to cause trouble ill shut up now im so sorry

 **charlidamelio:** TOMU NO

 **yamafatass:** SOBS

 **yamafatass:** NO TOMU WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH YOURE NOT CAUSING US TROUBLE

 **dorakinnie:** but i called shirabu shira shira and now he's annoyed :(

 **geometry:** omg pls let me hug you

 **geometry:** shirabu...

 **jill:** oh my god

 **jill:** goshiki no its ok, I'M, sorry

 **jill:** you can call me shira shira

 **dorakinnie:** REALLY

 **jill:** yeah

 **charlidamelio:** IM SOBBINF THAT WAS SO WHOLESOME

 **geometry:** sobbinf

 **charlidamelio:** SHUT UP IM CAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENT YOU HEARTLESS EMO BOY

 **jill:** PFFT EMO BOY

 **geometry:** ....

 **yamafatass:** EMO BOY 🤩🤩

**direct messages**

**shirabu - > taichi**

**taichi  
**

**you:** hey dumbass

 **taichi:** you sound like karasuno's setter and aoba johsai's ace

 **you:** shut up

 **taichi:** what do you want? you're literally in the bunk below me

 **you:** you messed up going offline like that, goshiki thought you were mad at him

 **you:** pretty sure he still does think you're mad at him

 **taichi:** im not im just....

 **taichi:** hhh this sucks

 **taichi:** how tf did i end up liking goshiki of all people?

 **you:** do you need to like talk about it?

 **you:** ugh dating semi has made me go soft

 **you:** y'know im here for you right???

 **you:** as much as I hate to admit it

 **you:** you're my best friend and I would strangle someone for you

 **taichi:** my heart is melting rn im so soft

 **taichi:** you're my best friend too, I'd do the same :)

 **you:** ugh, we're focusing on YOUR feelings and not us being best friends rn

 **taichi:** why :(

 **you:** because you have to face them

 **taichi:** ugh i just

 **taichi:** this is all so sudden, yknow??

 **taichi:** like one minute I was teasing the kid and the next I can't stop thinking about just like kissing him and shit

 **taichi:** the worst part about it is im pretty sure he doesn't like me like that

 **you:** wdym??

 **you:** i said the same thing about semi and look where we are now

 **you:** i was convinced he didn't like me back

 **taichi:** no, no, you don't understand 

**taichi:** you know that kogane kid from date??

 **you:** the one we played a while back??

 **taichi:** yeah

 **you:** what about him??

 **taichi:** I'm pretty sure goshiki likes him :/

 **you:** what?? no way

 **you:** you're actually lying, there's no way

 **taichi:** I don't know it's just

 **taichi:** fuck, having unrequited love sucks so much

 **taichi:** uhm basically..

 **taichi:** ik im not as observant as tendou, i mean he's called the guess monster for a reason

 **taichi:** but like since I'm hopelessly in love with goshiki i've been observing him

 **taichi:** and ive noticed he always perks up and his eyes light up and shit every time he gets a call or text from that kogane kid

 **taichi:** and it fucking hurts because ive seen the same thing in you, yamagata, and tendou every single time your bf's call or text too

 **taichi:** hell ive seen it in semi and reon too, wakatoshi too in his own strange way

 **taichi:** and i just

 **taichi:** it hurts so bad because it feels like everyone has someone but me

 **you:** woah woah slow down

 **you:** FIRST of all

 **you:** you're not alone, just because you're not in a relationship does not mean in any shape or form that you are alone

 **you:** let me make that clear

 **you:** 2nd of all, just because goshiki might like the dude doesn't mean kogane likes him back

 **taichi:** he might as well, seeing the way he's always caling and texting him

 **you:** taichi youll never know unless you give it a shot

 **taichi:** i don't know, i....

 **taichi:** i dont really wanna face this rn

 **taichi:** i kinda just wanna listen to music and cry

 **taichi:** maybe put on heather if i feel like bawling

 **you:** and people say semi's the emo one on the team

 **taichi:** shut up im a mess right now

 **you:** i know you are

 **you:** ill help you figure this out but if you really need someone to comfort you im literally on the bunk above you

 **taichi:** thank you..

 **taichi:** can we like cuddle or smth? platonically tho, i'd never want you like that

 **you:** way to ruin the moment

 **you:** but sure, just dont tell semi, promise?

 **taichi:** promise.

**Direct Messages  
**   


**goshiki - > kogane**

**kogane**

**you:** i think i made my senpai upset :((

 **kogane:** which one?

 **kogane:** also why are you up this late?

 **you:** why are YOU up this late

 **kogane:** i was watching frog videos

 **kogane:** which senpai tho??

 **you:** :((

 **kogane:** was it the one you like? the one with like orange hair

 **you:** yeah

 **you:** and its not orange

 **you:** its copper

 **kogane:** same thing, it looks like rust

 **you:** pffft

 **kogane:** ok did i cheer you up?

 **you:** a little thanks

 **kogane:** np

 **kogane:** btw what are you going to do about your crush on him

 **you:** i dont know?? he teases me a lot so i dont think he likes me like that

 **kogane:** hmmm

 **kogane:** kamasaki-san teased moniwa-san a lot and it turns out they were dating! so there's hope for you!

 **you:** you think so?

 **kogane:** yeah

 **you:** thanks for that! :)

 **you:** hopefully ill get the courage to confess 

**you:** thanks for being my friend in general

 **you:** now about your totally obvious crush on your libero

 **kogane:** ugh nooo can we go back to talking about your crush

 **you:** nope >:))

**shirabu has created a group**

**shirabu has added 6 users**

**shirabu has named it "fml"**

**shirabu:** i cant believe im doing this but...

 **shirabu:** we seriously need to help taichi.

**to be continued..**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be a christmas special but it got angsty real quick im so sorry  
> the beginning part was from a thanksgiving special i never got around to writing im so sorry
> 
> i literally told myself "no matter what i do, i will not make eat the rich angsty, i can't do that its the one story i've ever written without some sort of angst"
> 
> but, here we are!
> 
> dw, kawashiki will figure things out
> 
> you've seen tensemi being best friends, but now, be prepared for shirabu and taichi being best friends because it's what they deserve


	13. it started with a whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's MY story and i can add as many unrealistic events to spice it up as i want to

**2:56 am  
fml  
**

**yamagata:** why another gc?

 **semi:** why isnt taichi or goshiki in this gc?

 **tendou:** also everybody else is sleeping

 **shirabu:** hhh

 **shirabu:** shut up for like 5 minutes

 **shirabu:** basically, taichi has a crush on someone but he's feeling just super shitty and emo over it because he's sure the person doesn't like him back

 **yamagata:** hell yeah another confession plan

 **shirabu:** what? no

 **shirabu:** if taichi wants to confess he should do it on his own terms

 **shirabu:** im just saying we should comfort him as a team

 **semi:** okay then why isnt goshiki here

 **shirabu:** why not?

 **semi:** .....

 **semi:** do you want to come over...?

 **tendou:** i would object but im in wakatoshi's room rn

 **semi:** thats right

 **semi:** poor reon, he has to sleep in the bunk above one of the most unbearable couples ever

 **tendou:** ur just mad we're cute together

 **tendou:** also, i think he's just fine

 **tendou:** hayato is with him in the bunk above cuddling

 **yamagata:** SNITCH

 **semi:** i should be surprised but im not, hayato is hella clingy

 **yamagata:** why does the whole team keep bullying me

 **yamagata:** like i breathe 

**semi:** shouldnt you be cuddling your bf instead of typing in this gc

 **yamagata:** you know what? i will

 **yamagata:** oohira is the only one on this team who appreciates me

 **yamagata:** dhmu 💔💔😭

**yamagata is offline**

**shirabu:** NOT THE DHMU

 **semi:** PFFFT

 **tendou:** "DHMU ONLY THE REAL ONES KNOW"

 **semi:** satori go cuddle your bf too or ill drag you back to the dorm

 **tendou:** i was already planning to do that loser 🙄

**tendou is offline**

**Direct Messages**

**Goshiki - > Kogane**

**Kogane:** I DID IT OH MY GOD

 **you:** ???

 **you** : its 3 am??

 **Kogane:** SORRY BUT HOLYFKMFER

 **Kogane:** I ASKED SAKUNAMI OUT ON A WHIM AND HE SAID YES!!!

 **you:** REALLY?!?23Z8C

 **Kogane:** YEAH

 **Kogane:** IM SO FREAKING HAPPY

 **you:** CONGRATS OMG

 **you:** you've been crushing on him for ages!

**1 week later**

**6:45 pm**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** hey tomu do you want to come eat with us?

 **dorakinnie** : I would but I promised I'd meet Kogane today, I'll definitely come next time though!

 **jill:** you're meeting who?

 **dorakinnie:** kogane! You know that super tall kid from date!

 **yamafatass:** OH THE ONE YOUVE BEEN TEXTING LIKE CRAZY

 **dorakinnie:** I DO NOT TEXT HIM LIKE CRAZY!

 **geometry:** you totally do, ur face is like beet red rn

 **dorakinnie:** PLEASE STOP

 **carlwheezer:** hey, uh, I just remembered I promised to tutor enyo

 **carlwheezer:** so i cant come to dinner

 **geometry:** enyo???

 **carlwheezer:** he's the manager for the baseball team

 **Ushijima:** I wasn't aware you were close to the managers of other sports teams.

 **carlwheezer:** uhh we're not really CLOSE, we're kinda just both super into this one musician so we become acquaintances

 **yamafatass:** wait what?

 **yamafatass:** the kinda short dude who's super pretty and has really pretty hair

 **geometry:** its so not fair how the baseball team were blessed with such attractive managers

 **jill:** _ahem_

 **geometry:** You're way more attractive than them tho bu! 

**jill:** okay 🙄

 **geometry:** no i swear ur more attractive

 **charlidamelio:** semisemi is in the dog house it seems

 **geometry:** shut up no im not

 **yamafatass:** FOCUSING BACK ON TAICHI

 **yamafatass:** WAIT ARE YOU DATING HIM

 **yamafatass:** youre pan so its possible

 **carlwheezer:** uhm im not going out with en, we're just friends

 **carlwheezer:** im just going to help tutor him for a bit, sheesh, calm down

 **charlidamelio:** first name basis and a nickname?

 **charlidamelio:** OOO TAICHI HAS A BOYFRIEND

 **yamafatass:** TAICHI HAS A BOYFRIEND~~

 **cooluncle:** taichi has a boyfriend?

 **geometry:** taichi has a boyfriend!

 **dorakinnie:** taichi has a boyfriend..?

 **Ushijima:** Taichi has a boyfriend?

 **Jin:** Taichi has a boyfriend????

 **carlwheezer:** Oh my godddd

 **carlwheezer:** NO

 **carlwheezer:** I do NOT have a boyfriend losers

 **carlwheezer:** i understand your love lives suck, but that doesnt mean you can pry into my nonexistent one either

**carlwheezer is offline**

**charlidamelio:** geez who pissed in his cereal this morning?

**Direct Messages**

**Shirabu - > Taichi**

**you:** okay but do you actually have a bf

 **taichi:** no, i dont shirabu

 **taichi:** i thought i made it pretty clear

 **you:** okay but like

 **you:** shoot your shot with enyo if you're so sure goshiki doesnt like you back

 **taichi:** what? no

 **taichi:** enyo is just a good friend im not going to use him to get over someone

 **taichi:** I may be an asshole, but im not THAT big of an asshole to mess with someone's feelings like that

 **taichi:** besides, enyo doesn't like me like that either

 **you:** ok finee

 **you:** but you need to do something about your crush then

 **taichi:** I will I will

 **taichi:** just give me time to figure stuff out 

**taichi:** geez

 **you:** just confess youre not going to lose anything

 **you:** please, watching you pine is so exhausting 

**taichi:** shut up

 **taichi:** besides he's going out with kogane today

 **taichi:** imo that pretty much solidifies it

 **you:** oh my goddddddddddddddddd

 **you:** that solidifies nothing!

 **you:** if that solidified ANYTHING you'd be dating enyo

 **taichi:** BUT IM NOT

 **you:** EXACTLY

 **taichi:** hhh shut up just give me TIME

 **you:** whatever 

**  
Direct Messages**

**Taichi - > Enyo**

**you:** if you dont hurry up and get to the bleachers to study im actually going to kick you

 **enyo:** shut up

 **enyo:** ill be there, im picking up something

 **you:** istg

 **enyo:** i literally see you on the bleachers shut up im practically there

 **you:** ugh whatever

 **enyo:** "uGh wHAteVEr 🙄"

 **you:** shut up

 **enyo:** you

 **you:** u

 **enyo:** u

 **you:** u

 **enyo:** shut up and just get the materials out 

**you:** fine loser

 **enyo:** boo you loser

 **you:** shut up

 **enyo:** we say shut up too much come up with something more creative

 **you:** shut the fuck up loser

 **enyo:** i hate you

 **you:** boo go suck it up

 **enyo:** ew no

 **you:** STOP THINKING LIKE THAT

 **enyo:** IM NOT, YOURE THE ONE THINKING LIKE THAT

 **you:**...

 **enyo:** ....

 **you:** so like are you here....???

 **enyo:** yeah i brought boba

 **you:** WHOOOO

**8:00 pm**

**baseBALLS (and tits)**

**fuji:** yooooo

 **fuji:** enyoooo

 **fuji:** enyoooooooo

 **fuji:** @enyo @enyo @enyo

**enyo is online**

**enyo:** what do you want?

 **fuji:** rude

 **fuji:** anyways,

 **fuji:** what the hell is this?? why didnt you tell anyone??

_**fuji sent an image** _

**enyo:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **enyo:** NO THATS NOT TRUE WTF WHO DID THAT

**on twitter....**

**Shiratorizawa tea  
** **@shiratorizawagossip**

**_We came across Taichi Kawanishi and Takagi Enyo on what seems to be a study date on the bleachers earlier. What do you guys thinks? Cute couple or no? (In our opinion, they're a very cute couple!)_ **

** [insert images of basically enyo and taichi hanging out. One seems less then platonic since it looks like they're holding hands, they're not it's just the angle but nobody else knows that.] **

**3.4k retweets 5.8k quote retweets 10.1k likes**

**_replies are disabled_ **

**Direct messages**

**Shirabu - > Taichi**

**you:** i thought you said you weren't dating enyo? 

**taichi:** wdym, im not???

 **you:** then what's this???

**_you sent 5 images [basically just the tweet with the attached photos]_ **

**taichi:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **taichi:** i swear we're not dating

 **taichi:** but wtf who took those??

 **taichi:** im actually going to kill them who tf took those its literally stalking

 **taichi:** literal fan behavior

 **you:** taichi calm down

 **taichi:** how am i supposed to be calm when me and enyo literally got stalked, got a false rumor spread about us, AND had pictures posted/taken of us without our consent or knowledge?

 **taichi:** this isn't even just me it's affecting, it's also going to affect my literal friend

 **you:** taichi breathe, CALM DOWN

 **you:** it's just a dating rumor, all you have to do is debunk it

 **you:** I promise we'll find out who took the photos since thats literal stalking

 **you:** but calm down you're kinda overreacting

 **taichi:** hhh im sorry

 **taichi:** just

 **taichi:** hhhhhhh

 **taichi:** okok im calm

**Direct Messages  
**

**Taichi - > Enyo**

**Enyo:** wtf did you see what was just posted on twt?

 **you:** yeah 

**enyo:** im going to scream the whole team is bothering me about it

 **enyo:** like, ive said multiple times we're not dating but they dont believe me

 **enyo:** so close to having a mental breakdown

 **you:** the only thing we can do is say the rumor isnt true

 **enyo:** yeah but how many people would believe us?? those stalkers provided actual images

**you: ....**

**Direct Messages**

**Goshiki - > Kogane**

**you:** heart been broke so many times I don't know what to believe 💔

 **Kogane:**???

 **Kogane:** explain????

 **you:** basically my senpai, the one i have a crush on

 **Kogane:** what'd he do?

 **you:** im getting there

 **you:** anyways, earlier he said he was tutoring the baseball team manager

 **you:** which was KINDA sus but he said theyre were just friends sooo

 **you:** but like just now, as in 20 minutes ago

 **you:** some acc on twt leaked like some images of them earlier

 **you:** and ahaha apparently they actually ARE dating 😹😹

 **Kogane:** oh geez uh are you sure??

 **you:**???

 **Kogane:** are you sure theyre actually dating??

 **Kogane:** bc he denied it right? why would he lie to you guys about that

 **you:** i dont know

 **you:** but im just 

**you:** pain

 **Kogane:** goshiki

 **Kogane:** please

 **Kogane:** if he denies his relationship with them even after being "exopsed"

 **Kogane:** please confess, i cant take your hopeless crushing anymore

 **you:** literally so rude, but fine

 **you:** i doubt he'd like me back

 **Kogane:** You never know!!! I thought sakunami wouldnt like me back but he did!! Just take a chance!

 **you:** okokok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry, i had to do it.
> 
> taichi is not going to suffer alone through his hard to watch pining, it had to be done
> 
> haha, im back and with the full dramatics that would never actually happen but this is a ff so i can do whatever i want
> 
> no yeah im aware this would never actually happen (riverdale type beat 🥶💯🔥)  
> but I have to spice this up somehow so here we are
> 
> mayhaps im planning on updating another time later
> 
> but yeah woohoo our favorite oblivious idiots are...still idiots!  
> but its ok
> 
> we'll be back to our regularly scheduled stz soon, we just need to get through the unrealistic angst filled kawashiki arc first tho
> 
> dont worry, itll be over s o o n 
> 
> that sounds so cryptic, itll be over later today or tomorrow since im not going to stretch kawashiki's arc out to more than 3 chapters
> 
> ok byeee thank you for giving this a read!


	14. he's the one, got me all messed up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh was the last chapter necessary? no, but I like the chaos so 😗✌
> 
> the final to the kawashiki ar

**9:36 pm  
**

**we smash balls**

**geometry:** care to explain @carlwheezer 😃

 **carlwheezer:** yes, you see

 **carlwheezer:** it aint me in that photo

 **geometry:** i-

 **jill:** h u h 🤥🤨🤔

 **charlidamelio:** taichi master liar 🤩🤩

 **yamafatass:** it obv isnt him in the photo even tho his face is in it 🙄

 **carlwheezer:** exactly, theres an imposter, it aint me 🙄

 **Ushijima:** Taichi it is very clearly you??

 **carlwheezer:** wdym no its not

 **cooluncle:** i-

 **cooluncle:** i dont drink but i feel like i shouldnt be sober for this

 **cooluncle:** peace out ✌

**cooluncle is offline**

**geometry:** taich be honest, is it you?

 **carlwheezer:** ugh fine it is

 **geometry:** why were you denying it then?

 **carlwheezer:** because the rumor is NOT true and I stand by that 🙄

 **carlwheezer:** im pretty sure i know my relationship status better than anyone here does? 🥱😗

 **yamafatass:** ok but whats up with the premarital hand holding taichi 😏😏

 **carlwheezer:** the angle was w a c k 

**carlwheezer:** we never held hands, its just the angle

 **geometry:** idk if i believe that but ok

 **carlwheezer:** n e wayz, no im not in a relationship with enyo its just a rumor

 **carlwheezer:** the stz gossip acc stalked us for some reason 😀

 **charlidamelio:** pressing legal charges as we speak

 **dorakinnie:** wait so youre not dating the baseball team manager

 **carlwheezer:** indeed, i am NOT dating the baseball team manager

**Direct Messages**

**Goshiki - > Kogane**

**you:** ahaha so.....

 **kogane:** he wasnt dating him, wasnt he

 **you:** yes....no...yes..

 **kogane:** and i was?

 **you:** right...

 **kogane:** and this is a sign to?

 **you:** confess.................

 **kogane:** you go do that

 **you:** im not readyyy

 **kogane:** ok but s o o n

 **you:** yes, s o o n

**Direct Messages**

**Taichi - > Shirabu**

**you:** im going to do it, im going to confess

 **shirabu:** woohooo

 **shirabu:** you can do it best e

 **you:** ew dont do that again

 **shirabu:** that felt so wrong

 **shirabu:** but finallyyyy

 **shirabu:** its been foreverrr

 **you:** youve known for a week **.**

 **shirabu:** so? 1 week of watching you suffer not by the hands of me?

 **shirabu:** complete torture

 **you:** wow you care SO much

 **shirabu:** ikr

 **shirabu:** now, how are you going to confess

 **you:** over text 😀

 **shirabu:** not you stealing my brand

 **you:** semi's the one who confessed

 **shirabu:** and? its still my brand now

 **you:** whatever, over text because i dont wanna see his face when he rejects me

 **shirabu:** simp, but also he wont reject you

 **you:** you cant call me that, twitch ban no good! 😡🤬

 **you:** and yes he will

 **shirabu:** have faith taichi

 **you:** bold of you to assume im religious

 **shirabu:** youre so-

 **shirabu:** i hate you so much

 **you:** feeling is so mutual, hate you just as much bestie

 **shirabu:** bye 🚶♂️

 **you:** you owe me, i watched you pine for even longer

 **shirabu:** ...

 **you:** dont forget i helped you and semi get together

 **shirabu:** technically it was tendou but that makes it worse so im gonna stick with it being you

 **shirabu:** but i dont like that either because you suck

 **you:** love you too bestie 🙄

 **shirabu:** shoo go confess

 **you:** ugh ok

**Direct messages**

**Goshiki - > Taichi**

**you:** hey could you possibly meet me by like the campus flower garden thing

 **Taichi:** I was going to ask you something but ok ig?

 **you:** wait wait nvm

 **you:** what were you going to say?

 **Taichi:** uhhh

**Taichi: 😀**

**you:** i was actually going to tell you smth but im deciding to chicken out so ahaha...

 **Taichi:** uh you can still tell me over text if you want..?

 **you:** I know, I'm just kinda haaaaa

 **Taichi:** Okay,,,

 **you:** yknow what, can we just say it at the same time bc im growing nervous

 **Taichi:** suresure

 **you:** okay 

**you:** 1

 **you:** 2

 **you:** 3

 **Taichi:** So perhaps I have the biggest crush on you and literally like you so much for no reason. I know I kinda make fun of you a lot but I genuinely like you, a l o t. Like, it's so scary for me how much I like you. The amount of times I'm saying like is also VERY scary, but it's ok because for once I'm trying to express how I feel to someone and I'm very scared. But you're literally the absolute most gorgeous kind-hearted person I've ever met and I'd literally die if you actually reciprocated my feelings. You're probably super shocked right now but I swear everything I'm saying is 100% true and I'm not just trying to mess with your feelings. I genuinely think you're the most amazing person I've ever met. Like, I know you don't really see this side of me ever, but haha I'm very very nervous right now. I know you don't like me back, you probably like Kogane, but at this point I kinda just want you to know how I feel. If you don't like me like that I completely understand, I just wanna tell you how much I like you and stuff yknow.

 **you:** I like you

 **you:** wait

 **you:** what?

 **Taichi:** what?

 **you:** wait I feel bad for not writing a paragraph

 **Taichi:** nono lets backtrack to you saying you like me back??

 **you:** yeah I do

 **Taichi:** wait hold on im actually going to pass out

 **you:** lets go back to you saying you think i like kogane?

 **you:** w h y?

 **Taichi:** uh, idk I just thought you two were super close and stuff

 **you:** what?

 **you:** if that were true you'd be dating that enyo dude

 **you:** i mean you're not, right...?

 **Taichi:** Goshiki, I would not have written a paragraph confessing to you if I was in a relationship.

 **you:** goodgood just wanted to make sure

 **you:** also kogane is already in a relationship

 **Taichi:** really?

 **you:** yeah he confessed to the dateko libero recently

 **Taichi:** wait aww their height difference

 **you:** That's what I said when I first found out about his crush!

 **you:** but back to this

 **you:** what are we now?

 **Taichi:** omg not that question

 **Taichi:** We're whatever you want us to be

 **you:** stoppp this is so much pressure 

**you:** Okay, Kawanishi Taichi would you like to uhhhhhh

 **you:** haaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **you:** ugh im just going to yes

 **you:** Would you like to be my boyfriend?

 **Taichi:** wait this is kinda funny im so stupid

 **Taichi:** Haha yeah, I will be your boyfriend. :)

 **you:** give me a second to scream and recover

 **Taichi:** pffft ok

_5 minutes later.._

**you:** okay hi

 **Taichi:** Hi. :)

 **you:** stop I can practically see you smiling help

 **Taichi:** do you want me to come over??

 **you:** it's almost the middle of the night and we're in different buildings

 **you:** wouldn't shirabu be kinda annoyed if you left at midnight tho..

 **Taichi:** So? Fuck Shirabu, it's MY turn to be happy

 **you:** if you can get here under 5 minutes, I'll let you stay

 **Taichi:** WOOHOO

 **Taichi:** wait what about your dorm mate?

 **you:** dont have one

 **Taichi:** seriously?

 **you:** yeah

 **Taichi:** ok im omw as we speak

_8 minutes later..._

**Taichi:** Hi im here

 **you:** its more than 5 minutes

 **Taichi:** i had to find a flower as beautiful as you

 **you:** stopp youre so cheesy wth

 **you:** my face is so red if you say anything else I think i'll explode

 **Taichi:** So are you going to let me stay...???

 **you:** im omw to let you in as we speak

_1 week later.._

**6:46 am**

**we smash balls**

**yamafatass:** #goshikiclappedbangs

 **charlidamelio:** #goshikiclappedbangs

 **geometry:** #goshikiclappedbangs

 **jin:** #goshikiclappedbangs

 **dorakinnie:** stop you guys are so mean!

 **carlwheezer:** excuse me, he is VERY gorgeous to me! 🙄

 **dorakinnie:** FGRHUFJDKVDVM

 **charlidamelio:** i- what is going on here? 👁👁

 **yamafatass:** wait a DAMN minute

 **jin:** now hold on

 **geometry:** what? since when?

 **carlwheezer:** since always 🙄

 **yamafatass:** are we witnessing a confession?

 **carlwheezer:** no, the confession already happened and we are VERY happy together you gremlins 🙄

 **geometry:** WHAT

 **charlidamelio:** and neither of you asked me for help, shame on you 😤

 **Ushijima:** Satori, please don't meddle in our teammates love lives and come back to bed, it's a Saturday and I understand you like sleeping in on the weekends. 

**charlidamelio:** ODFNHDSJNDC

 **charlidamelio:** OKAY TOSHI 🥺💘💝💖💗💓💞💕

**Ushijima is offline**

**charlidamelio:** LATER LOSERS

**charlidamelio is offline**

**yamafatass:** WAIT SO YOU TWO ARE DATING NOW

 **carlwheezer:** yeah, what about it?

 **dorakinnie:** IDUCNKMWBERYC

 **jill:** wbk

 **geometry:** WHAT

 **yamafatass:** WHAT

 **jill:** What?

 **yamafatass:** so are we not bullying him anymore? 😔😿

 **carlwheezer:** no we still are, just not rn

 **dorakinnie:** WHY

 **carlwheezer:** i wouldnt be me if I didnt tease you, thats what

 **dorakinnie:** DFUHCJNDS

 **jin:** goshiki is malfunctioning 

**carlwheezeer:** do you want me to come over??

 **dorakinnie:** yes

 **carlwheezer:** alright

**Direct Messags**

**Goshiki - > Kogane**

**you:** I have the superior relationship

 **Kogane:** false, I do

 **you:** no me

 **Kogane:** no me

 **you:** no me

 **Kogane:** no me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, finally, the kawashiki arc has come to its close
> 
> I know this is like 4 days late, I'm super sorry! Life got in the way but it's here now!
> 
> honestly so far the kawashiki arc is my favorite thing ive written here because yes
> 
> hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> SOB THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 3,000 HITS THATs SO WILD 
> 
> we'll be back to our regularly scheduled stz now! Until next time!


	15. All Hail Jesatoshi Christijima

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our favorite religious organization is back

**7:35 pm**

**we smash balls**

**geometry: @cooluncle** hows it like dating a SIMP

 **cooluncle:** painful, very painful

 **yamafatass:** sobs

 **yamafatass:** REON

 **yamafatass:** OOHIRA

 **yamafatass:** BAE

 **yamafatass:** SHAWTY

 **yamafatass:** THE MELODY IN MY HEAD THAT I CANT KEEP OUT

 **yamafatass:** THAT GOT ME SINGING LIKE NANANANA EVERYDAY

 **yamafatass:** THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MY IPODS STUCK ON REPLAY

 **cooluncle:** so much pain

 **cooluncle:** pain 

**cooluncle is offline**

**yamafatass:** NOO COME BACK

**yamafatass is offline**

**geometry:** this is painful to watch

 **carlwheezer:** oh so painful

 **charlidamelio:** so much pain

 **geometry:** anyways, shirabu do you wanna go out rn?

 **carlwheezer:** you're aware this is a PUBLIC GROUPCHAT? 🤢

 **geometry:** shut up you and goshiki were making out in the storage closet yesterday

 **dorakinnie:** STOP BRINGING THAT UP 😭😭

 **carlwheezer:** and? you think i have shame? I have NO shame semi, you should've known by now

 **geometry:** i h8 you

 **carlwheezer:** just say you wanna hate fuck me and go, like I know I'm hot but 🙄

 **jill:** petition to behead taichi

 **geometry:** petition to behead taichi

 **dorakinnie:** nooo stopp dont

 **jill:** n e wayz sorry semi but i cant i have an exam to study for

 **geometry:** oh ok

 **charlidamelio:** PFFT SEMI GOT REJECTED

 **geometry:** SHUT UP WE ALL CANT BE PDA KINGS LIKE YOU AND WAKATOSHI

 **charlidamelio:** WE ARE NOT PDA KINGS WHY DO YOU TELL SUCH L I E S

 **dorakinnie:** uhh senpai...you and ushijima-san do quite frequently display pda

 **charlidamelio:** shut up storage closet face sucker

 **dorakinnie:** 😭😭😭

**dorakinnie is offline**

**carlwheezer:** this is my que to exit, shirabu you have to dorm all to yourself for the next 2-4 hours

 **jill:** ew dont give details

 **carlwheezer:** mailing you my makeout tape as we speak

 **jill:** i loathe you

**carlwheezer is offline**

**geometry:** since SOMEONE *cough* *cough* shirabu *cough* *cough* rejected my gracious invitation to hang out

 **geometry:** i GUESS i have to ask someone else to accompany me to dinner 🙄

 **geometry:** and I GUESS that person is the ONLY other option, I wouldn't have invited them otherwise,

 **charlidamelio:** just say you want me to accompany you bestie 🥱😙

 **geometry:** only because no one else is available

 **charlidamelio:** sureee

**geometry and charlidamelio are offline**

**7:49 pm**

**Praise Ushijima**

**pope:** I am now informing you this month's mass will be moved to tonight.

 **satan:** WHY AM I STILL HERE

 **sakusa:** I can't make it tonight sorry, I have a family matter to attend to

 **pope:** very well, it seems goshiki can't make it either

 **iwaizumi:** I'll be there with satan

 **satan:** NOT YOU TOO

 **satan:** I HATE IT HERE

 **pope:** Just because you're satan doesn't mean you HAVE to like it here

 **pope:** you're satan not jesus, the whole point is to make you suffer

 **satan:** PEOPLE FROM SHIRATORIZAWA ARE SO WEIRD

 **satan:** LET ME OUT I NEVER ASKED TO BE DEMON

 **satan:** CAN I GET AN EXCORSISM AND LET SOMEONE ELSE BECOME SATAN PLEASE

 **pope:** no

 **iwaizumi:** no

 **satan:** whyyyyyyyyyyyy

 **satan:** screw it im not suffering alone

**_satan has added yahaba_ **

**yahaba:**?

 **pope:**...

 **yahaba:** oh, it's YOU

 **pope:** I will not hesitate to jump across the net at the next practice match and fight you

 **yahaba:** you feeling froggy? l e a p

 **iwaizumi:** if you fight at the next match i will slap you both

 **pope:**....

 **yahaba:**....

**_pope has added kageyama_ **

**satan:** you did this for WHAT?

 **satan:** hate it here

 **satan:** this is supposed to be for an ushijima religion, not torturing me

 **pope:** you asked for this when you added the THING

 **yahaba:** EXCUSE ME?

 **iwaizumi:** HEY NO FIGHTING

 **kageyama:** an ushijima cult? im down

 **iwaizumi:** Hi kageyama

 **kageyama:** Hi Iwaizumi-san 😊

 **satan:** BARKBARKGRGRGR CAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCAWCACWBARKBARKGRRGRR

 **iwaizumi:** Oikawa. Stop.

 **satan:** You can't see me but I'm losing my shit

 **pope:** we can all tell youre losing it oikawa

 **pope:** n e wayz just wanted to tell you mass is at 10 pm today

 **kageyama:** ill be there

 **satan:** I'm going but im taking yahaba with me

 **yahaba:** WHAT? NO!

 **satan:** too bad so sad this is the price you pay for being my favorite

**12:00 am**

**praise ushijima**

**pope:** recite your prayer please

 **kageyama:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **sakusa:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **iwaizumi:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **goshiki:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **yahaba:** Do I have to?

 **pope:** I will pop your blood vessel

 **yahaba:** jeez fine

 **yahaba:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **satan:** ...

 **pope:** you have to

 **satan:** sigh,,,if you INSIST

 **satan:** All hail Ushijima Wakatoshi, second-coming of christ. Thou shall not be unholy in thy presence of the lord. May our savior bless and save our souls from volleyball failures, amen.

 **kageyama:** screenshotting this to send to the seijoh vbc

 **satan:** NO

 **yahaba:** no dont do it

 **iwaizumi:** kageyama please dont

 **kageyama:** fine

 **pope:** i'd say today was pretty successful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter than usual just wanted to get something out there
> 
> I wasn't originally going to write our fav religious organization but the chapter title came into my head and I HAD to, it'd be a crime not to!
> 
> Thank you so much for all the reads, kudos, and nice comments!
> 
> It means so much to me and I highkey reread the comments to put me in a good mood a lot of times :)
> 
> Until next time!


	16. rich kids of MTV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *kicks down door* I'VE RETURNED 
> 
> I don't know how I feel about this chapter so don't be surprised if it gets deleted

**7:06 pm**

**we smash balls**

**yamafatass:** STOP CALLING HIM UGLY HE'S NOT ERJHNRWEMK

 **geometry:** who's going to tell him

 **jill:** Somebody needs to tell him

 **dorakinnie:** somebody plz tell him

 **charlidamelio:** hayato, nendou is UGLY

 **yamafatass:** NO HE'S NOT????

 **yamafatass:** ok, who do YOU like satori since you obviously cant see nendou isnt ugly

 **charlidamelio:** I'm a piss boy fucker

 **yamafatass:** OF COURSE YOU ARE

 **geometry:** that wording...so exquisite

 **jill:** wait why do you like piss boy

 **charlidamelio:** WHY WOULD YOU NOT LIKE AKECHI????

 **carlwheezer:** you guys are so wrong for calling nendou ugly

 **carlwheezer:** he's literally not

 **jill:** you're dating goshiki so your opinion doesnt count

 **carlwheezer:** I will claw out your eyes

 **jill:** it's the kaidou obsession for me

 **carlwheezer:** ITS THE NOT HAVING A KAIDOU OBESSION FOR ME

 **geometry:** shut up, all your opinions are INVALID

 **geometry:** controversial, but, saiko supremacy 

**carlwheezer:**.....

 **jil:**......

 **charlidamelio:** Oh my god just admit you like rich boys and go

 **geometry:** NO I DONT???

 **charlidamelio:** you are a daisuke and a saiko fucker

 **charlidamelio:** im pretty sure you have a thing for rich boys

 **charlidamelio:** AND YOU'RE DATING SHIRABU

 **charlidamelio:** HE'S LITERALLY SO RICH

 **geometry:** YOU'RE DATING USHIJIMA?????

 **geometry: @Ushijima** where do u live

**_Ushijima is online_ **

**Ushijima:** Primarily, I live in the dorms. However, I do spend time at my family's farm here in Miyagi as well. I do occasionally go to our vacation ranch in Hyogo. There's also the vacation apartment in Tokyo. 

**Ushijima:** I hope my answers were sufficient.

**_Ushijima is offline_ **

**geometry:** 😀

 **charlidamelio:** shut it wannabe mcr member

 **charlidamelio: @jill** how are your peacocks?

 **jill:**...

 **jill:** what was the reason for using my peacocks as a point??

 **jill:** either way, my peacocks are FINE

 **charlidamelio:** "I dOnT hAve a tHinG fOR rICH BoYs"

 **geometry:** 😀

 **carlwheezer:** Hah, imagine

 **yamafatass:** goshiki's godparents are literally shirabu's parents tho??? Taichi what was the purpose of this??

 **jill:** AND I HATE HIM FOR BEING MY GODBROTHER 

**dorakinnie:** I will tell ur mom and dad

 **jill:** I'll tell your parents goshiki, they're my godparents too

 **carlwheezer:** imagine being rich, couldn't be me

 **cooluncle:** You're upper middle class???

 **cooluncle:** I'd assume you have some privilege there Taichi.

 **carlwheezer:** I-

 **carlwheezer:** uhm-

 **carlwheezer:**......

 **charlidamelio:** reon ur literally upper middle class too

 **cooluncle:** And? What about it?

 **charlidamelio:** Okay then 😪

 **yamafatass:** must be nice having surgeon parents 🥴

 **jill:** it is

 **yamafatass:** shirabu I beg spare some cash

 **jill:** ill think about pleb 🙄🥱

 **charlidamelio:** this is literally why you're a saiko fucker semi

 **geometry:** I have no arguments...

 **geometry:** litrally just pain

 **yamafatass:** wait if shirabu's parents are surgeons

 **yamafatass:** what do the rest of your parents do

 **cooluncle:** my mom's a therapist, my dad's a nutritionist 

**carlwheezer:** *cough* *cough* _rich_ *cough* *cough*

 **cooluncle:** Ok then taichi, what do YOUR parents do?

 **carlwheezer:** my mom is a hairstylist and my dad is a architect 🥶💯‼

 **jill:** ur bf's mom is a hairstylist yet those bangs are still clapped goshiki

 **dorakinnie:** YOU HAVE NO ROOM TO TALK????

 **carlwheezer:** getting back on track, goshiki why are you wealthy

 **dorakinnie:** my parents are highly regarded lawyers

 **yamafatass:** OFC THEY ARE

 **yamafatass:** if i were rich i'd be so powerful

 **charlidamelio:** same

 **geometry:** same

 **cooluncle:** You're all still middle class???

 **yamafatass:** shhh let us wallow 

**cooluncle:** Your dad's a dentist??

 **yamafatass:** LET ME WALLOW

 **jill:** what do your parents have as an occupation plebs

 **charlidamelio:** my mom works at a law firm and I'd cry happy tears if my dad sent a child support check 😹

 **jill:**....

 **cooluncle:**....

 **dorakinnie:**....

 **carlwheezer:** ....

 **geometry:**...

 **charlidamelio:** i will claw your necks out if another one of you sends the dots

 **dorakinnie:** do you want to see my koi fish 

**jill:** my peacocks are cooler

 **dorakinnie:** no they're not my fish are

 **carlwheezer:** you're all plebs, bow down before my bonsai tree

 **jill:** how much did you pay for the bonsai 

**carlwheezer:** 7k in cold hard cash.

 **geometry:** i-

 **geometry:** why that much for a tree???

 **carlwheezer:** u dont get it peasant

 **geometry:** I am now a rich boy hater

 **yamafatass:** its the fact that you're all rich and still got here on a scholarship 

**charlidamelio:** thats debatable for reon and taichi

 **charlidamelio:** but wakatoshi, goshiki, and shirabu are loaded

 **geometry:** it is what it is 😥

 **jill:** peasants

 **yamafatass:** when the time comes to feast on the wealthy, shirabu you will be first to go

 **jill:** I am suddenly very uncomfortable with the energy created today in this volleyball gc

 **geometry:** wait who cuts your hair?

 **jill:** I go to a hairstylist

 **charlidamelio:** WHAT

 **charlidamelio:** YOU GET THEM PROFESSIONALY DONE AND THEYRE STILL CLAPPED???

 **jill:** goshiki's bangs are clapped and he goes to a hair stylist

 **dorakinnie:** unprovoked 😭😭

 **dorakinnie:** i get other people to cut them for me when i cant go the the hairstylist 😭😭

 **carlwheezer:** shirabu shut up

 **jill:** Look who's sticking up for their bf

 **carlwheezer:** you almost punched a girl who was giving semi a confession note???

 **jill:** and i'd do it again

 **geometry:** 😀

 **charlidamelio:** if i give semi a confession note would you punch me shirabu

 **jill:** ushijima would punch semi first i think

 **charlidamelio:** nonsense, he wouldnt do such a thing

 **charlidamelio:** wakatoshi-kun is a very calm person

 **yamafatass:** did you not see his face when he found out you made out with half the team in first year?

 **jill:** wait who was the best kisser from that experience

 **carlwheezer:** give us the tier list, wakatoshi cant be apart if it

 **charlidamelio:** if you INSIST, I suppose I will

 **charlidamelio:** 7.matsui

 **charlidamelio:** 6.sano

 **charlidamelio:** 5.otsuka

 **charlidamelio:** 4\. hayato

 **charlidamelio:** 3.sakurai

 **charlidamelio:** 2\. eita

 **charlidamelio:** 1\. fujiwara

 **jill:** i-

 **carlwheezer:** A decent mix of 2nd years and 3rd years i see

 **cooluncle:** I have so many questions?? How?? And why so many people??

 **charlidamelio:** I don't discriminate 

**charlidamelio:** most of these were due to dares tho

 **geometry:** makes sense, the senpai really did like playing truth or dare

 **charlidamelio:** Wakatoshi is calling me to read jump together bye losers <333

**_charlidamelio is offline_ **

**geometry:** ...

 **geometry:** I hate that he's my best friend

 **carlwheezer:** i feel you, shirabu is my best friend 🤢🤢

 **jill:** after all ive done for you and this is the repayment again

 **carlwheezer:** gtg shirabu looked up from his desk and is about to slap me, byeee 😙

**_carlwheezer and jill are offline_ **

**geometry:** goshiki come over ill cut your bangs

 **dorakinnie:** REALLY?!!!1! 😁

 **dorakinnie:** I'm on my way!!!!!

**geometry and dorakinnie are offline**

**yamafatass:** so its just you and me 😉😏

 **cooluncle:** I'm aware 

**yamafatass:** do you want to cuddle 👉👈

 **cooluncle:** Ok :)))

 **yamafatass:** I KEEP WINNING, TAKE THAT UNIVERSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh thank you so much for reading!
> 
> I'd like to apologize in advance if this chapter ends up getting deleted though because I don't really know how I feel about :/
> 
> I just wanted to get something out and this idea had been stuck in my mind for like a week
> 
> I've just been having massive writers block lately and my mind is begging me to write coming of age kuroken angst based on drivers license but HHHH 
> 
> Anyways!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and thank you so much for 4,000 hits! So undeserved but it still means a lot  
> I'll try my best to respond to your comments from now on :)


	17. The caffeine addiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is short but i managed to squeeze writing it into a 45 minute break ahaha

**3:45 am**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** so n e wayz im now running on 2 redbulls lolzies 👴🤘

 **geometry:** omg same bestie except for its iced coffee lolz 🥰

 **charlidamelio:** im just so quirky lolz not sleeping and drinking redbull im such a crackhead #notlikeothergirls 😜🤪🤪

 **geometry:** ur such a crackhead emily omg, running on 4 redbulls cant take u nowhere best friend 🤣🤣

 **carlwheezer:** seek mental help please

 **charlidamelio:** we're crackheads, we don't need mental help we're just wild LOL 😂😂🤪💯‼ 

**geometry:** might go harass some walmart workers to show how crackhead we are 😜🤣

 **cooluncle:** I feel like,

 **cooluncle:** At this point,

 **cooluncle:** I'd rather you be on actual crack than whatever this is

 **yamafatass:** best friends wait for me, ill go harass the walmart employees too bc we're such crackheads #crackhead #canttakemenowhere 😎😎🤣🤣

 **carlwheezer:** ive never done acid and i'd like to clarify that

 **carlwheezer:** i'd like to clarify that ive never done any illegal substances in general

 **carlwheezer:** but I feel like witnessing this is what it feels like to be stoned as shit or on an acid trip

**_Jin is online_ **

**jin:** semi

 **geometry:** jin shawtie

 **jin:** semi

 **geometry:** jin please

 **jin:** no

 **geometry:** why

 **jin:** you're shaking like crazy

 **geometry:** dont do this to me jin

 **jin: I'** m taking the keurig, semi.

 **geometry:** jin no please i cant live without it

 **jin:** no.

**_jin is offline_ **

**geometry:** NOO JIN WHY

 **charlidamelio:** WHY DID JIN BURST INTO OUR DORM AND TAKE THE KEURIG

 **charlidamelio:** does jin know how hard it was to sneak that in

 **geometry:** jin took...the keurig...

 **geometry:** im mourning a loss, gn. 💔

**_geometry is offline_ **

**cooluncle:** You can buy another one??

 **yamafatass:** no, you don't understand

 **yamafatass:** it was about the journey, not the destination 

**cooluncle:** Why are you acting deep all of a sudden??

 **yamafatass:** it was the JOURNEY that mattered oohira!!!!

 **cooluncle:** I've never been more just

 **cooluncle:** Goodnight.

 **yamafatass:** IT WAS THE JOURNEY!!

**_cooluncle is offline_ **

**_dorakinnie is online_ **

**dorakinnie:** why did semi burst into my dorm and demand to see my keurig

 **dorakinnie:** is semi ok?

 **carlwheezer:** im sorry,

 **carlwheezer:** semi did what 😆😀

 **dorakinnie:** nvm semi is now watching as the keurig makes coffee

 **dorakinnie:** Hey are you going to pay me back for that coffee!! **@geometry**

**_geometry is online_ **

**geometry:** I will do no such thing as pay you back for this cup of coffee

 **dorakinnie:** pls, the coffee pod thingies are expensive 😥

 **geometry: i** will feast on you instead if you dont let me get this coffee

 **dorakinnie:** i-uhm-ok..

**jin is online**

**jin:** Goshiki, I'm on my way.

 **jin:** whatever you do, DON'T let semi get that caffeine. 

**dorakinnie:** he threatened to make me into soup idk what to do 😭😭

 **jin:** Semi has a caffeine addiction that I have let go on for too long now. It's my fault Semi is like this, I should have stopped it.

 **carlwheezer:** why is everyone acting so deep?? it's just a caffeine addiction??

 **carlwheezer:** im pretty sure like half the team has caffeine addictions??

 **yamafatass:** no, that's just you semi and tendou

 **carlwheezer:** oh...

 **carlwheezer:** ne wayz who wants to share this case of redbull 🥰🥰

 **charlidamelio:** omw as we speak bestie 😍😍

**cooluncle is online**

**cooluncle:** Jin, you handle Semi. I'll handle the other two. I'm sure Satori is shaking like a leaf right now from all the caffeine he's had. Taichi will probably be shaking like crazy in an hour. 

**Jin:** on it as we speak

 **dorakinnie:** jin please help 

**Jin:** dw, ill be there

 **cooluncle:** wait

 **cooluncle:** jin dont do anything

 **Jin:** what???

 **cooluncle:** We have the ultimate highest card in our deck, Jin.

 **Jin:** h u h???

 **Jin:** wait

 **Jin:** oh

 **Jin:** OHHH

 **Jin:** >:)

 **geometry:** h u h

 **charlidamelio:**?

 **carlwheezer:** oh

 **carlwheezer:** oh noo

**cooluncle: @Ushijima**

**Jin:** **@Ushijima**

**cooluncle:** **@Ushijima**

**Jin:** **@Ushijima**

**cooluncle:** **@Ushijima**

**Jin:** **@Ushijima**

**cooluncle:** **@Ushijima**

**_Ushijima is online_ **

**Ushijima:** Reon? Jin? What is the meaning of this?

 **cooluncle:** Ushijima, I am very sorry to awaken you at this hour. However, there is an issue me and Jin must bring to your attention.

 **jin:** Yes, it seems that Semi, Tendou, and Taichi are not sleeping which is risking them being able to perform in peak physical condition at practice.

 **Ushijima:** Ah, I see. 

**Ushijima:** Thank you for informing me.

 **Ushijima:** Taichi, Semi, Satori. A word, please.

 **geometry:** snitches

 **charlidamelio:** hope it feels good when you attend my funeral, hope it was worth it

 **carlwheezer:** tell my bf i love him, feed my cat for me, tomu. My final words are "fuck reon and jin #nohomo"

**_geometry is offline_ **

**_carlwheezer is offline_ **

**_charlidamelio is offline_ **

**_Ushijima is offline_ **

**Jin:** we did the right thing

 **cooluncle:** 100%

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exhuasted and Keurig coffee is the only thing keeping me alive 
> 
> On another note, I really do want to update more but my amount of free time has gone drastically. Like, my schedule is just dfjvejfvnjdf 
> 
> I don't even want to stare at computer screen anymore but I must do what I must do
> 
> On another note, this is bad but haahrhfefnegergerf
> 
> As Selena once said, "Ai ai ai como me duele" *cue music*
> 
> alright time to get back to my schedule, bye!!


	18. torturing the poor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nothing like some good rival team hatred induced shenanigans 
> 
> haha idrk what to do, tbh this all started from the idea of flexing stz hoodies and idk what its become

**7:56 pm**

**we smash balls**

**yamafatass:** how do we flex we're rich without hardcore flexing

 **jin:** you were complaining about not being rich the other day??

 **yamafatass:** do you hear anything??

 **geometry:** I got it

 **geometry:** we wear shiratorizawa hoodies

 **charlidamelio:** hell yeah 

**cooluncle:** What??

 **charlidamelio:** its simple,

 **charlidamelio:** shiratorizawa is a rich people school

 **charlidamelio:** WE, attend shiratorizawa

 **charlidamelio:** so we're rich by association 

**carlwheezer:** not how it works but ok

 **yamafatass:** so obviously we want to flex our new found richness with shiratorizawa hoodies

 **jin:** where would you even flex?

 **charlidamelio:** mcdonalds

 **geometry:** mcdonalds

 **yamafatass:** mcdonalds

 **carlwheezer:** nothing says rich like making minimum wage workers suffer 🤩

 **dorakinnie:** I don't think I've ever seen a shiratorizawa hoodie actually

 **coolunce:** They exist but no one wears them because we have uniforms

 **cooluncle:** its either that or people barely leave their dorm so you wouldnt see them wearing the hoodie either way

 **charlidamelio:** alright well we're on our way to the campus store to buy hoodies 

**carlwheezer:** why do we even have a campus store?

 **carlwheezer:** istg this school operates more like a university 

**jin:** ^^

 **dorakinnie:** I mean it's an academy, people pay big $$$$ to be here

 **dorakinnie:** what do you expect

 **cooluncle:** also very true ^^

 **carlwheezer:** actually wait, where are ushijima and shirabu so they can stop this madness

 **jin:** Ushijima is doing extra practice right now so it's better not to disturb him

 **jin:** shirabu is actually productive and studying

 **carlwheezer:** damn

 **yamafatass:** we got the hoodies losers

 **dorakinnie:** what colors?

 **yamafatass:** purple 

**charlidamelio:** white

 **geometry:** gray 

**_yamafatass sent an image_ **

**yamafatass:** the drip 🥶🥵💯‼💪

 **carlwheezer:** wait that kinda looks good, im going to go buy one

 **geometry:** one of us

 **charlidamelio:** one of us

 **yamafatass:** one of us

 **carlwheezer:** wait you said you're going to flex on mcdonalds workers?

 **charlidamelio:** yeah

 **carlwheezer:** I have a better idea 

**carlwheezer:** seijoh arent as rich as us so they're now considered poor, lets flex on them

 **charlidamelio:** yes.

 **geometry:** this>>>

 **yamafatass:** taichi spare braincells

 **jin:** hold on

 **jin: @everyone** do you want to flex on seijoh

**_jill is online_ **

**_Ushijima is online_ **

**jill:** hell yeah fuck yahaba

 **Ushijima:** Sure.

 **cooluncle:** Matsukawa has been getting on my nerves, he won't stop dming me big bird and saying it's me.

 **cooluncle:** 100% in.

 **carlwheezer:** 💀💀

 **carlwheezer:** ive been wanting to tease that mad dog mf for a while, im so down

 **dorakinnie:** ^^ i have beef with kindaichi

 **charlidamelio:** me and iwaizumi are cool, but ill annoy him for fun

 **geometry:** since when??

 **charlidamelio:** wouldnt you like to know

 **geometry:** yes thats the point of me asking

 **charlidamelio:** we have a mutual hate for jaywhypee the person

 **cooluncle:** I'm not even going to ask anymore

 **geometry:** Me and hanamaki have this weird tension thing going on so I'll bully them happily

 **yamafatass:** I have no issues with kunimi but they remind me of semi so...

 **geometry:** wow, just so fucking rude

 **yamafatass:** deserved 

**jin:** i love how we all collectively agree ushijima is going to piss oikawa off

 **jill:** its written in the bible

 **dorakinnie:** 100% canon

 **carlwheezer:** if it didn't happen that'd be a crime

 **charlidamelio:** its just what they do

 **geometry:** ushijima is the only one who can truly make oikawa go crazy besides kageyama

 **yamafatass:** only acceptable way

 **cooluncle:** theres no point in fighting it

 **yamafatass:** okay wait you guys need to go buy shiratorizawa hoodie RN

 **cooluncle:** ok

**9:45 pm**

**we smash balls**

**charlidamelio:** I regret buying white

 **jill:** I didn't expect oikawa to throw mango juice at tendou tho 🥴

 **dorakinnie:** I didn't expect semi to start attempting to fight oikawa for that 😭😭

 **cooluncle:** wait, WHAT

 **cooluncle:** me, ushijima, and jin left for like 45 minutes to pick up some stuff from school

 **cooluncle:** and this happens?

 **geometry:** oikawa started it

 **carlwheezer:** technically, we started it, but 100% down for placing the blame onto knock-off noah beck

 **geometry:** THIS ^^

 **jin:** what even happened

 **charlidamelio:** so we're sitting there pissing off seijoh in the 711 parking lot

 **charlidamelio:** cause what else are you supposed to do

 **charlidamelio:** i put my arm around iwaizumi as a joke and oikawa goes nuts

 **charlidamelio:** he snatched a bottle of mango juice from yahaba, unscrews the lid

 **charlidamelio:** AND PROCEEDS TO THROW IT AT ME

 **charlidamelio:** so at this point im PISSED, because oikawa just threw mango juice at me while im wearing a WHITE hoodie

 **carlwheezer:** r.i.p iwaizumi's white tank top 🙏🙏😿

 **dorakinnie:** rip

 **yamafatass:** rip

 **geometry:** rip

 **jill:** rip

 **charlidamelio:** ANYWAYS

 **charlidamelio:** so im cursing oikawa out and semi is trying to clean me up because mango juice dries and becomes sticky

 **charlidamelio:** semi, continue

 **geometry:** RIGHT SO 

**geometry:** YAHABA CALLS SHIRABU A WHORE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE JOKING AROUND

 **jill:** dumb, dumb as fuck ^^

 **geometry:** SO I PROCEED TO MAKE A RUDE COMMENT TOWARDS YAHABA BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW

 **geometry:** AND OIKAWA IS ALL LIKE "DONT DISRESPECT MY JUNIOR LIKE THAT"

 **geometry:** SO I TAKE GOSHIKI'S LITTLE CHANEL BAG AND PROCEED TO ATTEMPT TO WHACK OIKAWA WITH IT

 **dorakinnie:** im still upset about that, it was my favorite 💔💔

 **dorakinnie:** semi I beg pls give me at least 20$ compensation for that

 **geometry:** lo siento, no tengo 😥

 **yamafatass:** I didn't know u spoke italian

 **jill:** stupid

 **carlwheezer:** what...

 **dorakinnie:** uhm

 **jin:** gn.

 **yamafatass:** IM NOT STUPID IM JUST BAD AT FOREIGN LANGUAGES 💔💔

 **cooluncle:** You speak german fluently ??? 😀

 **yamafatass:** THATS DIFFERENT

 **yamafatass:** anyways, semi pls continue, im being severely bullied

 **geometry:** anyways, back to ME

 **geometry:** so at this point iwaizumi steps in and stops me from hitting oikawa

 **geometry:** bc number 1, thats his bf

 **geometry:** and number 2, he was pissed off that oikawa got mango juice on him too

 **geometry:** SO HE TAKES GOSHIKI'S BAG OUT OF MY HANDS AND FLINGS IT

 **geometry:** AND THE BAG IS WHITE AND GUESS WHERE IT LANDS

 **geometry:** IT LAUNCHES TOWARDS KUNIMI WHO WAS HOLDING AN ENERGY DRINK

 **geometry:** AND THE DRINK GETS ALL OVER THIS EXPENSIVE ASS BAG

 **geometry:** SO AT THIS POINT GOSHIKI IS CRYING BECAUSE ITS HIS BAG

 **geometry:** goshiki

 **dorakinnie:** SO IM SOBBING BECAUSE THAT WAS MY FAVORITE ONE

 **dorakinnie:** AND KINDAICHI LAUGHS

**carlwheezer:** so i tell that expired walnut to square tf up

**carlwheezer:** he's not going to laugh at tomu on MY watch

 **yamafatass: @cooluncle** this could be us but you playing 💔💔^^

**cooluncle:** you want me to bully you but then square up with kunimi? 😀😀

**yamafatass:** no...

**carlwheezer:** anyways kindaichi and yahaba start blaming the whole ordeal on goshiki and shirabu to make them mad 

**carlwheezer:** But im not going to let broke hoes start insulting my best friend and my boyfriend

**carlwheezer:** so I close my eyes and throw a punch

**carlwheezer:** I end up hitting watari 

**jill:** so at this point me and yahaba are just watching

**jill:** tbh the plan was to lowkey create a riot and thats what we kinda got

**charlidamelio:** WHAT

**jill:** ur not the only one who talks to people from seijoh

**geometry:** i thought you hatted yahaba ????

**jill:** I do but we're both bitches so it works

**jill:** anyways, long story short 

**jill:** me, tendou, matsukawa, hanamaki, yahaba, and kunimi are watching

**jill:** we end up somewhat inciting a mini-fight between semi,iwaizumi,oikawa,kindaichi, taichi, and yamagata 

**jill:** goshiki is crying while holding his bag and watari is inside the 711 buying med supplies

**jill:** BUT THEN KARASUNO'S CAPTAIN SHOWS UP FOR SOME REASON AND BREAKS UP THE FIGHT

**jill:** he threatens to call the police so we all RUN

**jill:** WE DASH

**jill:** the end 

**Ushijima:** I have zero words, none.

**cooluncle:** Never agreeing to do anything with anyone on this team ever again.

**jin:** i came to have a good time and I'm just so

**cooluncle:** I expected better from all of you.

**charlidamelio:** We're sorry

**geometry:** So sorry

**yamafatass:** im so sorry

**jill:** im not

**BONUS**

**Iwaizumi - > Oikawa**

**you:** whyd you throw mango juice at tendou

**you:** you do realize you accidentally started a mini-riot

**oikawa:** i have 0 regrets

**oikawa:** I threw it at tendou specifically for that reason

**you:** i cannot stand you

**oikawa:** u <3 me

**oikawa:** iwa chan??

**oikawa:** hello??

**oikawa:** hey why arent my messages sending

**oikawa:** DID YOU BLOCK ME 🤬

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm screaming
> 
> AH OK 
> 
> so I think I'll TRY my best to update on wednesday since those are my free days!!  
> (watch me not stick to it)
> 
> but if i stick to it but don't update on wednesday, please don't worry it's just me being either lazy or busy
> 
> ahh I started this while on break and finished it like 5 hours laters
> 
> I'm rambling so I've decided to tell you what the og semishira confession was going to be like  
> Simple, semi pulls out all the stops. He takes shirabu (and the rest of the team) to a football game between stz and random school, gets the marching band to play a little tune and he serenades shirabu who is extremely embarrassed but also flattered (very much into semi too) ANYWAYS, semi confessed at the end of the song (i'd like to imagine the song is rex orange county's best friend)   
> So obviously, like the true cliche romance movies, shirabu says yes and they make out in front of everyone who's just confused on whether or not they should be cheering or telling them to stop displaying pda
> 
> Tbh, I don't know what the purpose of telling you what the og was going to be but I thought it'd be a fun little extra   
> I couldn't write it due to reasons but I might if people want it as an extra (the confession that couldve been)
> 
> Anyways that's all! Bye!


	19. bullying the bully

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *punches wall* 
> 
> I'm so sorry for updating later than I said I would, but my mental health and all the bs I had to do decided to screw me over. I'm so sorry

**4:32 am**

**elders react 🥬🎤**

**semin:** to this day I despise my name

 **bozotheclown:** hah, get it semisemi

 **bozotheclown:** semi, semen, semin

 **bozotheclown:** im such a genius

 **eyebrowstylist:** Why are we all awake?

 **soundcloudrapper:** I don't knoww

 **soundcloudrapper:** wait omg all 3rd years are awake 🥰🥰

 **semin:** im pretty sure wakatoshi is asleep

 **soundcloudrapper:** it says he's online tho

 **himbopresident:** I woke up to notifications.

 **eyebrowstylist:** ah, sorry about that wakatoshi.

 **eyebrowstylist:** I'll turn off notifications for you later, just go to sleep.

 **himbopresident:** Alright, thank you Oohira.

 **eyebrowstylist:** No problem Wakatoshi!

**himbopresident is offline**

**soundcloudrapper:** not to be all deep at 4 am or anything..

 **soundcloudrapper:** but what are you guys doing after graduation 

**eyebrowstylist:** ....

 **semin:** .....

 **bozotheclown:** ......

 **semin:** Can we not talk about this? I don't really wanna focus on this rn.

 **soundcloudrapper:** yeah yeah fair

 **eyebrowstylist:** so...

 **bozotheclown:** yeah

 **semin:** yeah

 **soundcloudrapper:** yeah

 **bozotheclown:** HHHH

 **bozotheclown:** so, how's your mental health

 **semin:** you did this for what

 **eyebrowstylist:** the reason?

 **soundcloudrapper:** that do be kinda hurting tho 💔

 **bozotheclown:** Let's be honest tho

 **bozotheclown:** is anybody who attends stz REALLY okay?

 **bozotheclown:** Like I swear I saw half of the boys swim teams vaping yesterday while also doing test prep and ordering new team equipment 

**eyebrowstylist:** I think like at least 3/4 of the athletes here are doing smth

 **eyebrowstylist:** i dont know what

 **eyebrowstylist:** but a lot of them are on smth

 **semin:** ^^

 **soundcloudrapper:** 100% most of the athletes are on something

 **soundcloudrapper:** it's not enough that we all bring recognition to our school like crazy and win stuff left and right

 **soundcloudrapper:** we ALSO have to maintain crazy high grades while also dedicating 96% of our time to the sport

 **semin:** THIS

 **semin:** i think at least 3 people from each sports club/team are on some sort of scholarship for that sport

 **semin:** but the rules are so dumb that if we dont maintain those high grades we get kicked off the team

 **semin:** which yeah, might not mean a lot to those who pay tuition but for the ones who have scholarships for that particular sport

 **semin:** we risk losing that scholarship

 **semin:** and its just DFNHDFJNFDNDF

 **eyebrowstylist:** oh my god, THESE POINTS^^

 **eyebrowstylist:** LIKE HOW ARE YOU GOING TO RECRUIT US, GIVE US A SCHOLARSHIP FOR THAT SPORT

 **eyebrowstylist:** LIKE THEY SPECIFICALLY BROUGHT US HERE FOR THAT SPORT

 **eyebrowstylist:** ONLY TO REVOKE IT OVER A 83%

 **bozotheclown:** this school gives me so much unnecessary stress

 **semin:** life would be so easy if I didn't play volleyball

 **soundcloudrapper:** fr

 **eyebrowstylist:** preach

 **bozotheclown:** besties, i think we need therapy xoxo 😚

**Taichi - > Shirabu**

**you:** if only my tits were as big as my mental health issues! 😩😩

 **shirabu:** you don't have tits?? also wtf its 4 am

 **you:** yeah but if I did have tits they would totally be as big as my mental health issues

 **shirabu:** same

 **you:** wanna talk about it

 **shirabu:** no

 **you:** damn

**7:22 pm**

**we smash balls**

**Ushijima:** After careful consideration, I have decided to book a group therapy appointment for the team.

 **charlidamelio:** wakatoshi blink twice if ur being held captive

 **yamafatass:** bestie wtf

 **carlwheezer:** pls what

 **jill:** Huh??? 😀😀

 **cooluncle:** Ayo??

 **jin:** Uh-

 **dorakinnie:** swag

 **Ushijima:** After reviewing texts from the third year groupchat, I've decided we all need to attend therapy to help.

 **geometry:** NOT YOU EXPOSING US

 **charlidamelio:** 🏃‍♂️

 **jin:** you guys have a gc without me?

 **jin:** im not even here, im a hallucination 

**yamafatass:** ILL ADD YOU SHAWTY <//3

 **jin:** 💔💔🙏

 **cooluncle:** Yknow what, yeah let's not go to group therapy.

 **cooluncle:** I'm not going to name names, but I've seen some wack ways of coping.

 **cooluncle:** also I feel like half of us are going to end up skipping for dumb reason

 **jill:** *cough* *cough* goshiki and saying "im not like other girls, im QUIRKY" when on the brink of passing out at 3 am *cough* *cough*

 **dorakinnie:** SHIRABU WHY 😭😭💔

 **jill:** taichis just straight up horknee

 **carlwheezer:** I was today years old when i found out the average person has 8 sexual partners

 **carlwheezer:** i was today years old when i found out i was a whore

 **geometry:** EYE- WTF

 **yamafatass:** AYO??

 **charlidamelio:** CAP, I DONT BELIEVE IT

 **dorakinnie:** UR LYING...

 **jin:** HOLD ON NOW-

 **carlwheezer:** ITS THE FACT YOU ALL BELIEVE ME WTF

 **carlwheezer:** NO??? ITS NOT TRUE???

 **carlwheezer:** I LITERALLY COPY PASTED A RANDOM TINDER BIO I SAW ON TWT WTF

**I snort anything for $5 dollars (NO DRUGS!!)  
@kawanishitaichi  
**

**_WHAT THE FUCK. TODAY MARKS THE END OF MY CAREER, MY WHOLE TEAM BELIEVES I'M A WHORE. 💔_ **

**11.4k retweets** **6.8k** **quote retweets ** **12.8k likes**

**I snort anything for $5 dollars (NO DRUGS!!)** **@kawanishitaichi  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi  
EVEN MY BOYFRIEND THINKS IM A WHORE 💔💔**

 **scammer @sunarintaro  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi  
I venmo'd you $5 bestie, pls snort rice my captain grew🙏🙏**

 **mr clean kinnie @sakusakiyoomi  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi  
Praying for you. Hope you get better soon. xoxo, gossip girl.**

 **WIKIFEET OFFICIAL @futakuchikenji  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi  
HEY HEY YOU YOU I DONT LIKE UR BOYFRIEND😩🙄😳**

**snorts caffeine @ennoshitachikara  
replying to @kawanishitaichi and @futakuchikenji**   
**no way no way, i think u need a new one 😳😖😏**

**redacted chugs dumb bitch juice @fukunagashouhei  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi and @futakuchikenji  
** **hey hey you you I could be ur boyfriend 😉😋😳✋**

**man 🧍‍♂️ @terushimayuuji  
replying to @kawanishitaichi**   
**You're looking for a boyfriend, I see that 👀🥵😳**

**better twin @osamumiya  
** **replying to @ kawanishitaichi and @terushimayuuji  
Gimme time, you know I'm gonna be there 😯😍🤭**

 **i hate this app @ginjimahitoshi  
** **replying to @ kawanishitaichi and @terushimayuuji  
Don't be scared to come put your trust in me 👁👁   
**

**I snort anything for $5 dollars (NO DRUGS!!)  
** **@kawanishitaichi**

**_WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE HAVING CONCERTS IN MY REPLIES_ **

**11.4k retweets** **6.8k** **quote retweets** **12.8k likes**

 **I'm not rock lee!! @goshikitsutomo  
** **replying to @kawanishitaichi  
why are people hitting on u with avril and btr in your replies 😥💔**

 **I snort anything for $5 dollars (NO DRUGS!!)** **@kawinishitaichi  
replying to @kawanishitaichi and @goshikitsutomu**  
 **TOMU I SWEAR THEY'RE NOT, ITS A JOKE. MAJORITY OF THEM ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS💔💔**

**7:56 pm**

**coolest 2nd years of all time**

**taichi:** I HATE U ALL SM I HOPE YOU ROT

 **fukunaga:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **suna:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **osamu:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **ennoshita:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **akaashi:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **ginjima:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **terushima:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **futakuchi:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **sakusa:** Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle. It's a way of living, It's a way of breathing. It could even be a religion. Bullying and hitting on Kawanishi Taichi is the only way to heaven.

 **taichi:** I HATE YOU ALL SM, MAJORITY OF YOU ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS

 **taichi:** this is a literal crime against gingers, calling the police

 **terushima:** i don't know what kinda guy that you prefer but ik i gotta put myself forwards 😩😔

 **taichi:** I HATE IT HERE, IM BLOCKING ALL OF YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just taichi being bullied, I won't be surprised if you can guess this was supposed to be smth different from the beginning but went off the rail


	20. Important Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :,)

Hi, thought I'd let you know I'm putting this on hold.

My mental health is shit and there's some rl problems I need to figure out.

I'm sorry if this is sudden but I need a break to focus on me, dw I'm getting professional help :)

That's all! I don't know when this will be updated again but I hope you stick around for when it comes! 

\- okwa/tendousatoeri


	21. ahaha imagine,,,

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would risk it all for rin okumura

**10:19 pm**

**we smash balls**

**geometry:** you ever have a song that just saves you

 **carlwheezer:** we get it you listen to 21 pilots

 **geometry:** wtf 

**jill:** you can deny it but your spotify wrapped says otherwise

 **geometry:** even you 💔💔

 **yamafatass:** GUYSGUYSGUYS

 **yamafatass:** im a changed man 😎🥶💯‼🙏💪

 **jill:** omfg what is it this time

 **jill:** last week it was that you could eat spicy noodles in 5 minutes

 **jill:** which was a total lie

 **yamafatass:** so fucking rude

 **charlidamelio:** guys guys lets let hayato explain

 **yamafatass:** THANK YOU

 **yamafatass:** okay so ne wayz I literally WON A FULL BOX OF FUCKING POPSICLES

 **yamafatass:** god is on my side, im a changed man

 **yamafatass:** #worshipandprayeronly

 **carlwheezer:**. . .

 **charlidamelio:** literal crickets...

 **geometry:** hayato trying to act as a god worshipper is the funniest thing

 **jill:** lol what

 **carlwheezer:** LMFAO ATHEIST SEMI WILL NEVER NOT BE FUNNY

 **geometry:** im not an atheist but im not overly religious either

 **carlwheezer:** sounds like something an atheist would say

 **geometry:** omfg

 **jill:** PETITION TO DISOWN MY GOD BROTHER

 **dorakinnie:** nooo 😭😭

 **jill:** you know what you did

 **dorakinnie:** i said I was sorry 😭😭

 **yamafatass:** 🤨🤨

 **jill:** this literal scum of the earth took roman without permission 

**jill:** imagine how hurt and scared he was

 **dorakinnie:** YOUR PARENTS TOLD ME I COULD TAKE ROMAN

 **dorakinnie:** I HELPED YOU NAME HIM SO ITS MY RIGHT TO TAKE THAT PEACOCK IF I WANT TO FOR ONCE 🤬🤬

 **jill:** NO IT IS NOT, YOU DONT GET TO DECIDE THAT BECAUSE ROMAN IS MY PEACOCK

 **jill:** YOUVE PROBABLY HARMED MY POOR BABY!!

 **dorakinnie:** NO I HAVENT!!!

 **carlwheezer:** whoa! whoa! let's calm down here!

 **jill:** SHUT UP YOU GET BULLIED IN THE 2ND YEAR GC

 **carlwheezer:** im so close to throwing a pair of scissors at you

 **Jin:** For people who puts the same 5 songs by the same 3 artist in every playlist, you're getting a little bold.

 **Jin:** This is a direct callout. 

**geometry:** ive never felt more heartbroken and betrayed its as if my own mother ate me in the womb

 **cooluncle:** Semi what the hell. Are you okay?

 **geometry:** you can thank tendou for that image

 **charlidamelio:** IT SOUNDS SO WRONG OUT OF CONTEXT BUT I SWEAR ITS NOT

 **cooluncle:** I'm gone, out, goodnight.

**_cooluncle is offline_ **

**yamafatass:** I'm going after oohira bc im a great bf like that

**_yamafatass is offline_ **

**jill:** Goshiki, you're so lucky roman isn't harmed. Istg.

 **dorakinnie:** hhhghghghgh

 **jill:** Anyways! Taichi, my loyal servant, come to the dorms rn or I'll throw corn at you.

 **carlwheezer:** I hate you so much. if given the opportunity, I would behead you, you tyrant

 **charlidamelio:** romeo and juliet type beat 😩😩😍

 **carlwheezer:** NO

 **jill:** NO

 **geometry:** NO

 **dorakinnie:** NO

 **geometry:** ISTG SATORI IM ACTUALLY GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS

 **charlidamelio:** if you're into that semisemi 😘😘

 **geometry:** SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

 **geometry:** I HOPFE WAKTODFSHI BRESKSA UKJLP WITHG YIUO

 **charlidamelio:** RAPID BLINKING

 **charlidamelio:** GRGBARKBARLBAKRGRGRTABRKABRKK

 **geometry:** STAY BACK YOU HELLHOUND 

**charlidamleio:** GRGRGRBARLBARBAKRBAKRBAGRGRGR

 **geometry:** BACK I SAY YOU RIN OKUMURA KINNIE!

 **charlidamelio:** wait highkey props that was such a creative way to call me the spawn of satan

 **geometry:** ikr?

 **charlidamelio:** anyways

 **charlidamelio:** BAKRBARKBARLABRLGRGRGRGRG

 **geometry:** BACK BACK BACK

 **carlwheezer:** wtf kinda roleplay is this

 **jill:** ive never been to furrycon but I think this is what'd it'd be like

 **carlwheezer:** holy shit for this years team bonding activity we should go to furrycon

 **jill:** NO????

 **carlwheezer: @dorakinnie** you and me,,,at furrycon holding hands thru our fursuits,,,,imagine,,,ahaha,,,, 😍😏😳👉👈

 **dorakinnie:** pls stop

 **carlwheezer:** what if we kissed thru our fursuits 😩😩🥵🥵

 **dorakinnie:** stop it rn I beg

 **jill:** ew wtf i dont wanna know about the weird ass shit that gets you off

 **carlwheezer:** NOOOO

 **carlwheezer:** you deserve to rot for that

 **jill:** and you need the internet taken away from you for a VERY long time, you're a DANGER to society

 **charlidamelio:** petition for that one fuckboy lip bite emoji to be a real thing i need to use it

 **carlwheezer:** fr

 **geometry:** I am so done with this team

 **carlwheezer:** its about time, we've already scared off the sane ones

 **jill:** you count hayato as sane?

 **carlwheezer:** no, im talking about ushijima, jin, reon

 **dorakinnie:** rip 😭🙏💔

 **charlidamelio:** I think that we should all go offline now because we are actual hazards to the sane people rn

 **jill:** more like you, semi, and taichi are but okay

 **dorakinnie:** AWW I WASNT INCLUDED IN THAT <33

 **jill:** i will curb stomp you into the cold hard pavement and pay to cover up your murder

 **dorakinnie:** im going into hiding, nobody try and contact me.

**_dorakinnie is offline_ **

**jill:** good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm not COMPLETELY back, but I'm getting there! I don't know if I'll really return to my previous kinda upload schedule so just hang tight! BUT, I'm excited to kinda get to writing again! This chapter isn't that good since I kinda got rusty but I hope to make it up in the next one! Thank you SO much for all the support this has received, I never would've imagined it getting this much support but it really means SO much!
> 
> BUT YEAH AHHH THIS FEELS GREAT TO GET BACK TO EVEN IF I DON'T KNOW HOW FREQUENT IT'LL BE!! :D


	22. The WPLI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wattpad protagonist love interest

**9:23 pm**

**we smash balls**

**cooluncle:** this is driving me insane it's been way too quite

 **cooluncle:** Normally, I'd be very grateful for this silence.

 **cooluncle:** However, I have this feeling that something is going horribly wrong.

 **geometry:** Now that you mention it, I have that feeling too

 **jill:** ^^

 **Ushijima:** Perhaps something might be going on.

 **Jin:** This is so sus, you're onto something Oohira.

 **dorakinnie:** yes yes

 **geometry:** Wait...

 **geometry:** Hayato, Satori, and Taichi haven't responded...

 **Jin:** Oh no

 **cooluncle:** Oh my god something is surely going to go horribly wrong if it involves those three

 **Jin:** fr

 **geometry:** they rarely get together to start shit but when they do it always just...

 **jill:** I'm getting war flashbacks just thinking about it

 **dorakinnie:** I'm so scared rn 😭

 **Jin:** Oh my god this better not be what I think it is

 **geometry:** ??

 **Jin:** They watched the godfather a month ago and then binged the sopranos 

**cooluncle:** oh no

 **geometry:** oh no indeed

** _Meanwhile...._ **

**9:25 pm**

**$ money makers $**

**The Don:** Do you have the profits?

 **El Capo #1:** Yes!

 **The Don:** Tendou?

 **Underboss:** Yeah?

 **The Don:** Akaashi?

 **El Consigliere:** What?

 **The Don:** Please message them telling them we have the thing and request a meeting.

 **Underboss:** Alr

 **El Consigliere:** On it.

**The Don has added Yahaba**

**Underboss:** ...

 **El Consigliere:**...

 **El Capo #1:** ...

 **El Capo #2:**...

 **El Capo #3:** ...

 **The Don:** Relax, introduce yourselves to our guest.

 **The Don:** I am Kawanishi Taichi, The Don, aka, the leader.

 **El Consigliere:** Akaashi Keiji. Consigliere, or, adviser to The don.

 **UnderBoss:** Tendou Satori, the Underboss.

 **El Capo #1:** Capo 1, Yamagata Hayato.

 **El Capo #2:** sigh, if you INSIST, Matsukawa Issei.

 **Yahaba:** Wait wtf mattsun 

**El Capo #2:** Shhh

 **Yahaba:** I- ok

 **El Capo #3:** Suna Rintarou, you can read I assume.

 **Yahaba:** rude but ok

 **The Don:** Why are you requesting to join our little group.

 **El Capo #3:** ew

 **The Don:** Shut it

 **Yahaba:** To piss off shirabu

 **The Don:** Reasonable, you're in

 **El Capo #1** : I-lmfodscnjsd

 **El Capo #3:** thats the ugliest keysmash ive ever seen

 **The Don:** I thought we said we'd be serious in this chat

 **El Capo #1:** Right.

 **El Capo #3:** Mhm.

 **Yahaba:** So what do you even do??

 **The Don:** We secretly collect embarrassing stuff from volleyball people and then give it away in exchange for a favor.

 **Yahaba:** ahh ok

 **Yahaba:** Wait...

 **Yahaba:** Mattsun have you given them anything on me 🤬🤬

 **El Capo #2:** 🤐🤐 

**Yahaba:** Wait wtf is even going on with all this capo don shit

 **Underboss:** We got everyone in this groupchat onto The Godfather and The Sopranos, it manifested from there.

 **Yahaba:** How tf are roles even chosen

 **Yahaba:** How did taichi of all people get don or whatever tf

 **The Don:** So glad you asked!

 **The Don:** I had the idea so I get to lead.

 **The Don:** Tendou and Yamagata found out and wanted in, Tendou's the underboss because he has the best intimidation tactics. 

**The Don:** Yamagata is still a capo though so he also has a fair amount of power.

 **The Don:** Wait, let me actually give a diagram.

 **The Don:** Me >Tendou> Yamagata, Matsukawa, Suna> Futakuchi, Fukunaga, Konoha> Associates

 **Yahaba:** wait wtf theres more than you 5

 **Soldier #1:** Sup.

 **Soldier #2:**.

 **Solider #3:** Yeah.

 **Yahaba:** Waittt how does akaashi fit into this

 **El Consigliere:** I'm an advisor, I handle the favors and help make decisions. 

**El Consigliere:** I also do some more behind the scenes stuff.

 **Yahaba:** But youre not underboss or capo?? 

**El Consigliere:** They're more in charge of gaining the biggest pieces of extortion material as well as giving it away in exchange for a favor.

 **Yahaba:** okayyy

 **Yahaba:** Im confused but im going to act like ik whats going on 😀

 **Yahaba:** I feel like this is highly illegal tho

 **Soldier #3:** It probably is but we're all too lazy to check, so..

 **The Don:** Alright, Yahaba you're an associate which is the lowest in this power dynamic.

 **The Don:** Uh, I guess I'll assign you under Fukunaga. You're the least likely to fight them.

 **Yahaba:** I dont go around pissing people off???

 **The Don:** Fukunaga's direct superior is Matsukawa so good for you.

 **Yahaba:** Can I change bosses 😀😀

 **El Capo #2:** nobody hmu streaks 💔🥀🖤 

**El Capo #2:** About to change my pfp to sad bart 💔

 **El Capo #1:** lmfaoo so much for keeping serious here

 **The Don:** ugh im not even going to try to stop it

 **Underboss:** oh thank god typing with grammar was killing me

 **El** **Consigliere:** Typing with grammar isn't that bad.

 **Yahaba:** im not even going to question how you got this many people on

 **Yahaba:** I understand suna, futakuchi, konoha, even mattsun a little

 **Yahaba:** but Fukunaga and Akaashi? a total shocker

 **El** **Consigliere:** I like managing things.

 **Solider #2:** I like collecting stuff

 **Soldier #2:** that thing just happens to be embarrassing photos and videos of other people

 **Soldier #2:** what about it?

 **Yahaba:** right never getting on your bad side...

 **Yahaba:** i feel like youre all sadists

 **The Don:** tbh some of us probably are but its whatever

 **Yahaba:** how do i get to the top

 **The Don:** You don't, we already have it figured out 🙄🙄

 **Yahaba:** taichi u sec c crime boss ill be ur y/n mafia queen pls let me be at least a soldier 😩😩🥵🥵😘😍😍😍

 **Soldier #1:** LMFAOFCMD NOOOO

 **The Don:** I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND SO DO YOU

 **Yahaba:** all mafia bosses need a mistress, ill be glad to be ur maria reynolds 😘

 **El Capo #1:** LMFACODNCJD NOOO JAILL

 **El Capo #2:** GN HAHHA NOT YOU HITTING ON A TAKEN MAN TO GET TO THE TOP PLSSS

 **El Capo #3:** HAHAHAHCBDHNXS

 **The Don:** PLS IM NOT SINGLE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM

 **Yahaba:** but is ur bf apart of this ring? no 🙄🥱

 **Yahaba:** i can still be ur y/n mafia queen if u promote me to capo 🤭

 **Underboss:** IM SOBBING AHAHBDCHEDW

 **El Capo #1:** I WANNA SEND THIS TO GOSHIKI SO BAD

 **The Don:** NOOO PLS

 **Soldier #3:** IM IN TEARS

 **Yahaba:** are u not into the mafia queen

 **Yahaba:** ohh wait ikik

 **Yahaba:** you big strong mafia man pls help poor old broke high school student little old pure me 🥺🥺

 **Yahaba:** i can be ur smart kind mafia wife while ur the big bad strong cold man 😩🥺

 **The Don:** IM BEGGING YOU PLS STOP OMVGDFHNVDF

 **Underboss:** I CANFTBREAFHGE

 **Yahaba:** all at the cost of being a capo

 **El Capo #2:** PLS YAHABAS ACTUALLY TRYING IT HAHAHAHBCHD

 **The Don:** I regret so much

 **El Capo #3:** making taichi suffer>>>

 **The Don:** PLS

 **The Don:** Im not looking for y/n mafia queens or wifes sorry </3

 **Yahaba:** sigh, at least i tried

 **The Don:** I have a feeling of impending doom 

**The Don:** I regret so, so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've heard of the ushijima religion, but now, meet our new favorite (and possibly illegal) crime organization
> 
> This idea has been in my mind for a while so bsdchnsdcs  
> Yeah thank you so much for all the comments, it fuels me to keep going so much!


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